Hogwarts Watches A Very Potter Musical
by Bookwormlovesharrypotter
Summary: It's right before Harry 5th year when Albus Dumbledore discovers a mysterious package on his desk. In it is a computer and a note saying to watch what is on the screen. So Dumbledore, along with other special people, watch this strange movie, no, play, no, musical?
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY PART OF HARRY POTTER OR STARKID. BECAUSE IF I DID, I WOULD PROBABLY DIE FROM EXCITEMENT.**

* * *

_POP!_

A sudden pop was made in the Headmaster's office. Dumbledore, being the Headmaster so, therefore, in his office, looked up from his papers in great alarm. He assumed the worst. The Death Eaters were gaining more and more power these last few months, and he was staring to get very worried. The Ministry was not believing what he or Harry had to say and the subject. Fudge, instead of helping stop Voldemort from gaining anymore power, was slandering Harry and himself by use of the Daily Prophet. And this was only the summer. He couldn't imagine what Harry would be like when he returned to school.

But Dumbledore, upon looking at the direction of the 'pop', saw that it not indeed a Death Eater, but a small package. Standing up, he pulled out the Elder Wand and made his way over to the strange package. The packet was wrapped in a brown bag with twine tied around it. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary, but Dumbledore had a feeling of deep foreboding. Somehow, in the back of his brilliant mind, the Headmaster felt that this package would change many things in the world today. After casting a silent detector charm, Dumbledore determined the packet safe to open.

But, still, he was skeptical. After all, charms could be easily fooled by dark magic. "And," Dumbledore thought to himself, "given the present climate, one can never be to cautious." So, instead of opening the packet, the wise old man made him way to his fireplace. In doing so, he also put the strange brown package tied up with twine on his cluttered desk. Sticking his head in the fire, he called out, "Professor McGonagall's office, Hogwarts." Immediately, the Headmaster's head appeared in the Transfiguration teacher's fire.

Professor McGonagall nearly jumped into the air at the sight of the Headmaster's head. Trying to compose herself, she awkwardly stood up and walked over the the fire. "Albus," she said in a low tone, "you better have a good reason for this. You nearly frightened me out of my skin." But Dumbledore just waved her aside with a slight nod of his head. He had more important business to attend to.

"Minerva, I would request your presence in my office at once," Dumbledore told the teacher. "I have come across a strange packet that looked safe, but one can never tell in this day in age." Immediately, Professor McGonagall straighten up and took out her wand.

"But of course I will be the Headmaster," she said already waving befuddled her wand. And, not a moment afer, the animagus appered in the office behind the gargoyles. Prfessor McGonagall helped pulled the Headmaster out of the fireplace and let him sit down in his chair. After a few momemts, Dumbledore sighed. Standing up once more, he walked to the front of his desk and reached for the brown package. But, before he could reach it, Professor McGonagall made a point to stop him. "Albus, it could be dangerous," she shrilled. "You shouldn't touch it!"

"I have already touched it and I am fine. Besides, this is way I brought you here." Without any futher ado, the brave Headmaster waved his wand and the package fell open. Together, the adults peered into the brown paper. All they saw was abox with a note written on another brown piece of paper and a tiny screen. Dumbledore must have determined that it was not dangerous becasue he reached his hand into the box to pull out the note. Again, Professor McGonagall made a noise to stop him, but the Headmaster payed no attention to her.

Gingerly, he took the note and opened it with care. The note had three words on it. _Enlarge and watch. _Surprised at the instructions, Dumbledore turned his wand over to the other strange object. "ALBUS!" Professor McGonagall shouted at him. "How many times have you told others not to trust strange objects?" Again, Dumbledore just ingnored her and preceded to enlarge to object. In front of the two Hogwarts teachers was a large screen that had a funny looking mound attached to the screen, holding it up. Looking at each other, both Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall saw that they had a questioning look on their face.

Dumbledore, not knowing what else to do, poked the mound with his wand then jumped back. The seemed to have come alive because words suddenly appeared on it. As it did not move after that, the two Professors moved closer to examine the screen. "The words," Professor McGonagall muttered. "The words are the answer." Together, they both read the note on the screen.

Professor McGonagall was the first to finish, but she waited until Dumbledore finished until telling him what she thought of it. She opened her mouth, but before she could explode, the Headmaster threw his head back and laughed. Professor McGonagall looked at him shocked. "Albus, this is no laughing matter. This, what did they call it, computer, doesn't seem like a trustworthy object. I suggest we get rid of it at once and forget this even happend."

But the Headmaster wasn't going to do anything of the sort. Instead, he walked over to Fawkes and whispered something in his ear. The bird then flew out the window and was gone. "Albus," Professor McGonagall said, "you can't be doing what I'm thinking."

But Dumbledore only smiled with his blue eyes twinkling. "My dear Professor, this is what we need right now. We need a little laughter." Professor McGonagall shook her head and sat down in a seat, looking defeated. Dumbledore sat down in his seat and waited until a few certain people showed up in his office.

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**~So, I have decided to write another story. Over the past months, I have noticed that there are no completed stories about A Very Potter Musical. I intend to change that fact. I have already written down the entire show, so now I just need to add the commentary. If you haven't watched the show, you should or else this won't make sense. I have no idea how you can consider yourslef a true Harry Potter fan if you haven't watched this show. And let this be known that this is my first commentary, so bare with me. I hope to update at least every week, but maybe, depending on the reviews I get, I may update faster. So, this is all for now. If you have any questions, feel free to ask them. Peace Out!~ **


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH HARRY POTTER OR STARKID. THEY BOTH OWN THEMSELVES BECASUE THEY ARE BOTH SO FABULOUS. **

* * *

_Previously:_

_But Dumbledore only smiled with his blue eyes twinkling. "My dear Professor, this is what we need right now. We need a little laughter." Professor McGonagall shook her head and sat down in a seat, looking defeated. Dumbledore sat down in his seat and waited until a few certain people showed up in his office._

* * *

_Thud!_

The noise came through the fireplace as Dumbledore smiled and rose from his chair to greet his new guest. In his once empty fireplace stood the Weasley twins along with their brother, Ron, and sister, Ginny. The younger two seemed to be looking a little peeved out, but the Twins looked perfectly at ease. They just glanced around the room as if to see if it was dangerous, but, figuring it wasn't, looked back at their brother and sister who were staring at them. Ginny, staring extra fiercely, put her hands on her hips like Mrs. Weasley had done on so many occasions, and opened her month to say something when...

"Good morning Dumbledore," the Twins shouted out, looking at the Headmaster.

"How simply enchanting," one started.

"It is to see you on," the other one followed.

"This bring sunny day," they both finished.

Ginny, glaring once more at her brothers, stopped when she saw the Headmaster. "Professor, I didn't see you. How are you doing today, sir?" she asked, trying not to laugh as the Twins mimicked Dumbledore's movements.

"Thank you for asking, Ms. Weasley, although you brothers do not seem fit for me to anwser," Dumbledore replied with his deep blue eyes twinkling. Fred and George stopped immediately. The Headmaster, not turning around once, said, "I find my self in good heath. And you?"

"Fine, thank you sir. But I was wondering why you brought us all here? We aren't in trouble, are we?" Ginny asked, glancing back at Ron to get support.

Seeing his younger sister's glace, Ron piped up and said, "It's summer vacation. We haven't been at the school since last June. We didn't do anything."

Dumbledore just nodded his head while his eyes were still twinkling. "No," he responded, "you four have done nothing wrong. Rather, I have an interesting situation that I think you will find most educational if you remain here for the time being." Ron and Ginny looked puzzled at each other while Fred and George made their way to the Headmaster.

"Headmaster," one stated.

"Professor Dumbledore, sir," the next one put in.

"Will this experiment take long?" the first one asked.

"'Cause we've got a lot of work to do planning our jo.. I mean shop," the second one finished.

Dumbledore just smiled and went to sit down in his chair. Upon getting there, he commented, "I think you both will find it worth your time to watch this."

"Watch what?" all the Weasleys asked at the same time.

Dumbledore just smiled again and said, "We will have to wait for the next party to get here. But now, please help yourself to a lemon drop. I will explain all in due time." The Weasleys, deciding that they would get nothing more out of Dumbledore, sat down in the chairs the surrounded the room. They didn't have to wait long because as soon as the went to pick up a lemon drop, they heard a _Thud! c_oming from the fireplace.

Out of the fireplace, came Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Cho Chang, Hermione Granger and Neville Longbottom, all looking equally confused as to where they were. Harry, who had fallen when he came out of the fireplace, immediately jumped up, his wand in his hand, looking ready to hex someone. Draco, once he took a glance around at where he was, simply leaned up against the wall. Cho grabbed the mantle on the fireplace to steady herself and glanced feverishly around Dumbledore's office, taking in the surroundings. Much to her credit, Hermione had not only managed to stay standing, but, like Harry, had her wand drawn ready to duel. Neville, who had fallen on the floor along with Harry, just laid there once he caught sight of Dumbledore.

Dumbledore, not slightly put out by this entrance, motioned to the seats where the Weasleys were already sitting. Ron had stood up to welcome his friends, but stopped where he caught sight of Draco Malfoy. Making a face, he exclaimed, "What is that ferret doing here?" The Headmaster put up his hand kindly, and gestured to the seats again. One by one, each of the new-comers sat down reluctantly until only Ron was standing. Still, Ron didn't notice this and continued talking to Dumbledore. "His father is a Death Eater and you bring him here? He could kill us all!"

Draco, having enough, stood up and said, "It's not like I enjoy the company, Weasel." Ron made a move for Draco, but both Harry and Hermione, who sat next to him, jumped up a pulled him down to his chair. Once all the guest were seated, Dumbledore walked over to his fireplace, threw floo powder in it, and called something into it. Everyone tried to hear what he said but were unfortunate stopped. The old Headmaster made no sign that they all tried to make out what he said and sat back down in his chair.

"Umm, Professor," Hermione asked in a shy voice, "what are we all doing here? We aren't in trouble, are we?"

"You and Ms. Weasley have minds that seem to think alike. But, no, Ms. Granger, you are not in trouble," Dumbledorekindly said. "As I was explaining the the four Weasleys earlier, I have come across an interesting situation that I do believe you will find most informational. I do hope that you will stay to enoy it, but I will hold no one against their will. So, if you would like to leave now, do so. It will not be marked against you." When no one moved, Dumbledore continued. "As no one had made a move to leave yet, I assume that you will all stay. But know this, what happens in this room, stays in this room. I will put a charm on it to make sure that this statement will remain true once our final guests comes. In the meantime, please help yourself to a lemon drop."

Ignoring his offer in lemon drops, all the Hogwarts students began to think about who else would be coming. None of then wanted to be the one to ask who they were. Finally, Cho Chang, the pretty Asian girl, asked in a quiet voice, "Sir, who else is coming?" At these words, however, the door the Dumbledore's office slammed open. In the doorway stood the Potions master as well as the Transfigurations teacher.

Snape made his way into the Headmaster's office not glancing at any of the students, only sneering when he pasted by Harry. Professor McGonagall was kinder and smiled when she saw her students in the Headmaster's office. But, when looking at Dumbledore, her smile turned into a straight line. "I had hoped that you gave up on this idea. It is dangerous for everyone here."

Dumbledore eyes only twinkled in response to McGonagall's concers. After Snape and McGonagall had made their way to the sides of his desk, the Headmaster turned to face the children. "My dear students, earlier this morning, I recieved this package with a strange note on it." He then opened his arms and gestured to the weird looking box.

Everyone just looked puzzled at Dumbledore except for Hemione. "That's a computer, Headmaster!" she exclaimed.

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**~Thank you for waiting so patiently for me to get out this next chapter. Summer had caught me by surprise, and I hade to go on a two week vacation with no internet. I wanted this chapter and the next one to be one, but I decided it would be too long. So, instead, I split it up and have made the next chapter longer. But this chapter is longer than the last one, so I hope you enjoy it. **

**Let me know it there are any other characters you would like to see. I could mabye incorporate them into the story. As for now, though, this will be our cast of characters. Once I start to post chapters that have words from AVPM in it, feel free to correct me on anything that I typed wrong. I don't have a beta reader, so bare with me. Also, if you would like your own copy of the script, I have that to without the commentary. I could email it or PM it to you if you ask.**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed my last chapter. Again, I apologize for such a long wait. I hope you wont have to wait as long for the next chapter. I try to update weekly, but my summer schedule is less predictable than during the school year. But I will do my best to update. Peace Out!~ **


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: HARRY POTTTER AND STARKID DO NOT BELONG TO ME. **

* * *

_Previously:_

_The Headmaster turned to face the children. "My dear students, earlier this morning, I recieved this package with a strange note on it." He then opened his arms and gestured to the weird looking box._

_Everyone just looked puzzled at Dumbledore except for Hemione. "That's a computer, Headmaster!" she exclaimed._

* * *

Everyone just stared at her. Dumbledore, however, clapped his hands in delight. "Thank you Ms. Granger for enlightening us on what this srange contraption is. Do you, by chance, know how to work it?"

"Of course, Headmaster," Hermione commented.

"I will ask you to turn it on momentarily," Dumlbedore said. "Now, however, I feel like I owe you all an explanation on what is happening and how you all came to be in my office."

"Albus," Professor McGonagall muttered, "the silencing spell."

"Ah yes," the Headmaster cheerfully said while waving his wand. "There, that is much better. Now you will not be able to talk about anything that happens here. But enough of that. As I said before, I recieved this computer and a sheet of paper earlier this morning. On the sheet, it said to turn on the computer and press the play button. It also told me to invite you all to watch a certain video. Both Professor McGonagall and I have looked it over and believe that it is not dangerous. Now, as you have all stayed here and not left, I think it would be wise to turn the computer on. Ms. Granger, if you would do the honors."

Walking over to the computers, the wizards stared at Hermione as she played with the buttons. Hermione smiled, knowing that these people had never seen a computer before so were therefore excited to see how it worked. Well, most people anyways.

"What stupid thing is Granger going to do now?" Draco sneered. Both Ron and Harry made a move for him, but sat back down after a stern glare from Hermione. "Merlin, I'm just wasting my time doing this. No doubt all these mugglelovers will..."

"Draco." Draco stopped when Snape said his name. Looking at his Head of House, Draco sank back down in his chair, not completing his sentence. Snape looked back at the Headmster and nodded his head. Dumbledore nodded back and then looked at Hermione who was finishing turning the computer on.

Hermione stood up and asked, "Would you like me to give a rundown on everything on the computer?" Dumbledore and all the other pureblood wizards nodded in amazement, seeing the screen light up. "This," she said pointing to the big box with the screen on it, "it called the screen. You will be able to see things on it once the computer is up and running. And this," she commented, pointing to the board that had different buttons on it, "is called the keyboard. You use it to type thing in on the screen. Finally, the is called the mouse," Hermione finshed, pointing at the funny looking mound. "You use it to get around the screen to click on things. It that enough?"

Everone nodded, trying to keep the things she said in their brains for the time being. Hermione looked up at Dumbledore and said, "It's working now, Professor. I think that it is programed to start to play a video once you click that button." She pointed out the button on the screen as she sat back down next to Ron and his sister. "You can press it anytime."

Dumbledore strolled over to the said computer. "Without further ado, as the muggles say," Dumbledore said with a gleam in his eye, "let's get this show on the road." The Headmaster reached over to the mouse and used it to click on the button Hermione told him to press.

Immediately, a video began to play. "Hello as you people from the past!" shouted a voice. Harry stared in amazement as him saw a boy, no older than thirteen, looking back at him with the same green eyes and messy black hair as he had. They looked identical, except for the fact that Harry had a lighting bolt scar and his forehead and wore glasses. Everyone else in the room looked at Harry and then at the boy, as if trying to determine who was who. The video kept playing. "My name is Albus Severus Potter, and yes, I am Harry Potter's son."

This statement brought gasps throughout the room. Poeple began to shout out different things.

"How could you name you son after Snape?"

"Harry, you have a son?"

"Who's the mother?"

"You mean I survive all this?" Harry whispered to his best friends.

"Students, please," Dumbledore shouted to be heard. "I think that all will be explained in due time. For now, let's hold all questions until the end of the video." Everyone who had stood up in shock sat back down at the Headmaster's words. Dumbledore pressed play again.

"Yes," the boy's voice came from the video, "I know that many of you will be shocked at my name. But, when you learn to truth, you will understand Dad's, er, Harry's actions. But for now, please try to pay attention. My brother, adopted brother, sister, and I have sent this package back in time to help you win the war. While it may look like a joke to you, please know that everything in here is the truth, even you Draco." Everyone stared at Draco, wondering what the Slytherin could be hiding from them.

"Once this video is completed, please click on the next one that comes up. I hope the Aunt Herm, er, Hermione had explained to you all what a computer is and how it works. Also, please note that we have tinkered with the system so that it will stop the video every time you say something. And don't be afraid to watch this at Hogwarts. We have rewired it so that it can withstand all the magic. I hope the you will all enjoy this show as much as my siblings and I do. For most of you, I can't wait to see you in the future."

The whole lot in Dumbledore's office looked at each other in amazement. They hardly knew what to say. Finally, Hermione broke the ice by saying, "Aunt Hermione? I'm an aunt to Harry's kids? But tha must mean..." she trailed off, blushing when she realized who they must have married.

"What Hemione?" both Harry and Ron asked at the same time. But she just shook her head. If it turned out she was wrong, that would be embarrassing.

"What I think Ms. Granger is trying to say is that we should click on the next video," Dumbledore retorted, stopping any other awkward questions. "Shall we begin?"

The students and Professors nodded while the Headmaster clicked the next slide, and it began to play.

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**~Hello again. Thanks for reading the story this far. I would like to thank everyone who had reviewed. The next chapter will begin with the first part. I plan by going by the timing on YouTube, so feel free to watch it while you're reading this. I hope that you all enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing this. I don't plan as pairing people off, but I don't know yet. I haven't written the whole story. Even if I do pair people off, it won't affect the story that much. Thanks for reviewing and reading. Peace Out!~ **


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY PART OF HARRY POTTER OR STARKID. DO I LOOK LIKE I DO?**

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_Previous__:_

_"Shall we begin?"_

_The students and Professors nodded while the Headmaster clicked the next slide, and it began to play._

* * *

**[HARRY SITTING ON UPTURNED TRUNK]**

Draco found this picture bloody funny. "Wow, Potter. Nice hair you got there," he sneered, looking at the Golden Trio.

Harry looked at Ron and Hermione in wonder. "_Was this the muggle that was supossed to be playing him?"_ he wondered.

**HARRY: (Sing) Underneath these stairs I hear the sneers and feel the glares of my cousin, my uncle and my aunt. **

Immediately at these words, Hermione, Ginny, and Professor McGonagall cried out.

"Why didn't you tell us that, Harry?" Hermione shrieked.

"Ablus, how could you let the boy go back year after year to that horrible house? Can you see they are mistreating him?" Professor McGonagall said, scolding Dumbledore.

"You lives under stairs?" Ginny meekly asked, hating how Harry was being treated at his aunts and uncle's house.

Harry looked down at his lap, asamed at his friends finding out how he had once lived. "It's fine," he muttered. "I don't live under the stairs anymore."

"But you used to, mate?" Ron asked, wringing his hands together as if crushing some invisible creature. "Why didn't you say something. Mum and Dad could have talked to them, or Dumbledore, or somebody."

Keeping his head down, Harry simply said, "I didn't want to worry anyone. It's fine now. They don't bother me that much. I'm hardly ever there, Ron."

As Ginny and Hemione went in again to speak their feelings, Dumbledore intervened. "How about we talk about this later. I don't think Harry is feeling comfortable at the moment." Everyone, even Snape, glance at Harry.

Draco was too busying laughing. "Again, Potter, what a great singing voice you got there. Really puts things in perspective."

But Harry didn't notice their stares. he was too busy thinking. _"What if they tell every little detail of my life? I could get in a lot of trouble."_ Then, noticing that everyone was staring at him, glanced down at his lap.

******HARRY: (Sing) **Can't believe how cruel they are and it stings my lightning scar to know that they'll never, ever give me what I want. I know I don't deserve these stupid rules made by the Dursleys here on Privet Drive. 

Hemione and Ginny sighed when the person playing Harry sang this. "Oh, Harry," Hemione whispered, taking her hand and putting it in his. Harry, grateful for his friend, squeezed it lightly. Both of them didn't notice Ron and Ginny eyeing thier hands angrily.

******HARRY: (Sing) **Can't take these stupid muggles, but despite all of my struggles, I'm still alive. I'm sick of summer and this waiting around. Man, its September, so I'm skipping this town. Hey it's no mystery, there's nothing here for me now. I gotta get back to Hogwarts. **I gotta get back to school. I gotta get myself to Hogwarts. Where everyone thinks I'm cool. **

At that remark, Fred and George burst into laughter.

"Well, Harry, not going for the," George said

"Modest wizard, now are we," while Fred finished

Harry just blushed and put his head down in his lap. "You know I'm not really like that, mates," Harry muttered, barely audible.

Snape sneered at that commemnt. _"How could James Pottter's son not be arrogant?"  
_

******HARRY: (Sing) **Back to witches, and wizards, and magical beasts. To goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts. It's all that I love, and it's all that I need. At Hogwarts, Hogwarts, I think I'm going back- 

"Well, Potter, I think we will all be relieved to know that you are indeed coming back to Hogwarts," Professor McGonagall commented, adding to Harry's blush.

******HARRY: (Sing) **I'll see my friends, gonna laugh 'til we cry. Take my Firebolt, gonna take to the sky. NO WAY this year anyone's gonna die, and it's gonna be totally awesome. 

Everyone in the room, excluding Draco, bowed their heads, remembering what happened to Cedric.

******HARRY: (Sing) **I'll cast some spells, with a flick of my wand. Defeat the dark arts, yeah bring it on! And do it all with my best friend Ron, 'cause together we're totally awesome.

Ron cheered. "I wonder what my person will look like?" he said out loud.

"Looking at how Harry charector is acting and his looks, Ron, "Hermione informed, "You will problably look ridiculous."

Both the twins, Ginny, and Harry snortedat this comment. Ron just looked put out. "What do you know Hermione?" he asked.

**[Enter RON]**

**RON: (Sing) Yeah, and it's gonna be totally awesome! (**

Everyone at this point, burst into fits of laughter. Ron just stared at his person in disgust. "That muggle is ME!" he shouted. "I do not look anythinglike that."

**Talk) Did somebody say Ron Weasley? Woohoo! What's up buddy? [Hugs Harry] What's up buddy? Hey, sorry it took me so long to get here, I had to get some Floo powder. But we gotta get going. Come on, get your trunk, let's go!**

**HARRY: Where are we going?**

**RON: To Diagon Alley, of course!**

**HARRY: Cool!**

**RON: Come on!**

**HARRY & RON: Floo powder power! Floo Powder power! Floo Powder power!**

Draco snored at the actors on the screen. "Wow Potter, Weasel, you two look ridiculous."

"Shut up Malfoy," all the Weasleys said, glaring at said person.

**RON: (Sing) It's been so long, but we're going back. Don't go for work. Don't go there for class.**

"And just what do you mean by that boy?" Professor MvGonagall asked, stareingintently at Harry and Ron.

Harry and Ron sputtered, trying to get out an explanation. "It's just that...well you see um... we like to..."

Luckily, Hermione came in. "Professor," she said, "I make sure they do all their homework. Besides, this isn't really them."

Professor McGonagall glanced briefly atthe boys but looked away. Harry and Ron sighed in relief.

**HARRY: (Sing) As long as we're together-**

**RON: (Sing) - gonna kick some ass**

**HARRY & RON: (Sing) ... and its gonna be totally awesome! This year we'll take everybody by storm. Stay up all night, sneak out of our dorm.**

"You better not, or else," Hermione said, staring at her mates.

"You know us, Hermione," Harry said, "we would never do anything like that."

**[Enter HERMIONE]**

**HERMIONE: (Sing) But let's not forget that we need to perform well in class if we want to pass our OWLS!**

Hermione sputtered at the sight of her on the computer. "I look nothing like that!" she shouted as if that could change anything.

"I must say, Granger, "Draco drawled, "I do think that this muggle looks exactly like you."

"Shut up Malfoy," both Harry and Ron said.

**[Enter Hogwarts students]**

**RON: (Talk) God Hermione, why do you have to be such a buzz-kill?**

**HERMIONE: Because, guys. School's not all about having fun. We need to study hard if we wanna be good wizards and witches! **

"At least one of you has your priorities straight," Professor McGonagall muttered under her breath.

**HERMIONE: (Sing) I may be frumpy,-**

"You got one thing right," Draco sneered.

**HERMIONE: (Sing) -but I'm super smart. Check out my grades, they're "A's" for a start. **

"But I thought an A was the lowest grade you could get to pass," Ron said, worried now that he had failed everything.

Hemione comforted him. "Don't worry, Ronald, honestly. An A is the highest grade you can get as a muggle in school."

"Good," Ron said, relieved.

**HERMIONE: (Sing) What I lack in looks, well I make up in heart, and well guys, yeah, that's totally awesome. This year I plan to study a lot-**

**RON: (Sing) -That would be cool if you were actually hot.**

"Ronald," Hermione cried out at her friend.

"Really Ron," Ginny commented, shaking her head at her brother's lack of tack.

Ron felt bad and thought, _"Hermione is bloody amazing. Why can't I just tell her?"_

**HARY: (Sing) Hey Ron, come on, we're the only friends that she's got!**

**RON: (Sing) And that's cool...**

**HERMIONE: (Sing) ... and that's totally awesome**

**HARRY, RON & HERMIONE: (Sing) Yeah it's so cool, and it's totally awesome! We're sick of summer and this waiting around. It's like we're sitting in the lost and found.**

"What's the lost and found?" Fred and George asked together, thinking it was a prank or something.

"It's a muggle thing," Hermione explained. "If you find something that isn't yours, you put it in the lost and found. Likewise, if you lost something, you go there to see if someone else found it. Hence the name, lost and found."

"Oh," the twins said, disappointed.

**HARRY, RON & HERMIONE: (Sing) ****Don't take no sorcery. For anyone to see how... We gotta get back to Hogwarts. We gotta get back to school. We gotta get back to Hogwarts. Where everything is magic-cooooool.**

"They really couldn't come up with a better rhyming word with school?" Ginny mummered, giggling.

"I think it's catchy," Cho remarked, causing everyone to look back at her. They had forgotten that she was even here. Well, every had forgotten her except for Harry.

**ALL: (Sing) Back to witches, and wizards, and magical beasts. To goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts. **

"Just look at that awful dancing," Draco commented, staring intently at the screen.

Behind him, Dumbledore smiled.

**ALL: (Sing) It's all that I love, and it's all that I need at HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS**

**HARRY, RON & HERMIONE: (Sing) - I think we're going back!**

**[Exit Hogwarts Students]**

"That was the last part, Headmaster," Snape said. "Perhaps we should click on the next one.

"Alright, Severus. Will you do the honors?"

Snape just got up from his chair, pressed the button, and walked back.

* * *

**~Thank you all for being so patient and waiting for this. My last few weeks have been hectic. But, never the less, here is the first part that they are seeing. I hope you will enjoy it. If there is anything in the upcoming vidoes that you want me to include, please tell me. And please review too. It always brightens up my day when you do. Peace Out!~ **


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: HARRY POTTER AND STARKID BOTH BELONG TO OTHER PEOPLE, NOT ME. DO I LOOK LIKE I WOULD OWN ANYTHING THAT AMAZING?**

* * *

_Previous:_

_"That was the last part, Headmaster," Snape said. "Perhaps we should click on the next one._

_"Alright, Severus. Will you do the honors?"_

_Snape just got up from his chair, pressed the button, and walked back._

* * *

**[Enter GINNY]**

"That's me!" Ginny shouted, looking at the person on the screen. "I look nothing like that. Her hair is totally fake! And my hair isn't that red!"

Ron and the Twins looked around uneasily, as if afraid that saying something would cause Ginny to hex someone. Harry sighed and said, "Don't worry, Ginny, you look nothing like that. And you saw how much they messed up Ron's and my character. Don't worry about it."

Looking at Harry, Ginny relaxed, glad that she didn't look like some red-headed fake.

**GINNY: Ron! You're supposed to take me to Madame Malkin's and use those sickles Mum gave you for my robe fittings!**

**HARRY: Uh, who's this?**

**RON: This is stupid little dumb sister, Ginny. ****She's a freshman.**

"Ronald!" Hermione scolded, knocking his head with her hand. Ron started to protest but didn't after seeing Hermione's fierce glaze.

"What's a freshman?" Neville asked, confused at the wording. After all, first years were called first years, not freshman.

Hermione, after determining that Ron wouldn't say anything, turned around to face Neville. "It's a muggle term," she explained. "In high school, that's what a first year student is called."

"Oh."

**Ron: Ginny, this is Harry, Harry Potter.**

**GINNY: [Shakes Harry's hand] Oh! You're Harry Potter! You're The Boy Who Lived!**

Burying her head in her hands, Ginny cringed at those words. She knew that she used to have a huge crush on Harry, but it was over now. She hoped that this show wouldn't focus on her crush on Harry.

"Hey, Granger, it looks like you have competition to be Potter's girlfriend," Draco commented, trying to get a rise out of her.

"Harry and I never went out, Malfoy. And you know that," Hermione simply said, not rising to the bait.

**HARRY: Yeah, and you're Ginny.**

**GINNY: It's Ginevra.**

**HARRY: Cool, Ginny's fine.**

**RON: Stupid sister! [Claps Ginny round head]. Don't crowd the famous friend!**

"Ronald," Hermione scolded her friend again. She knew that this was fake and that Ron would never do that to his sister, it still pleased her to yell at Ron. Yelling at Ron was one of her favorite ways to pass the time.

**HERMIONE: Do you guys hear music or something?**

**GINNY: Yeah, what is that?**

**RON: Someone's coming!**

**[Enter LAVENDER BROWN, CHO CHANG and PANSY]**

"Is that me?" Cho exclaimed upon seeing the small Asian girl.

**LAVENDER, CHO & PANSY: Cho Chang**  
**Domo arigato, Cho Chang**  
**Gung Hey Fat Choy, Chang**  
**Happy Happy New Year, Cho Chang**

"Oh Merlin," Cho exclaimed again, seeing the dance moves her character was doing. "I hope you all know I don't do that."

Harry, completely over his crush on Cho, watched in dread as his character watched the person playing Cho with disbelief.

**GINNY: Oh! Who's that?**

**HARRY: That's Cho Chang.**

**RON: That's the girl Harry's totally been in love with since freshman year.**

**HERMIONE: Yeah, but he won't say anything to her!**

**RON: Well yeah, you never tell a girl you like her, it makes you look like an idiot!**

"True that!" both the Twins exclaimed.

"It would ruin everything," one went on to say.

**GINNY: [Approaches Lavender Brown] Konichiwa Cho Chang, it is good to meet you. I am Ginny Weasley.**

**LAVENDER: Witch, I ain't Cho Chang.**

**RON: That's Lavender Brown. [Claps Ginny round head]. Racist sister!**

"You mean that isn't me?" Cho asked confused. As far as she knew, Lavender Brown wasn't Asian, and she was.

**CHO: Hey, it's alright! I'm Cho Chang y'all.**

All the watching that dropped their mouths open. Even Draco did before realizing that it was a muggle girl.

"I'm not southern!" Cho shouted, seeing the girl playing her. "How is that an correct portrayal of me?"

No one answered her, all to caught up in the drama going on onscreen.

**HARRY: She is totally perfect.**

**RON: Yeah, too bad she's dating Cedric Diggory though, huh?**

**HARRY: What? Who the hell is Cedric Diggory? What is that? Who is that guy?**

Everyone dropped their heads at the sound of Cedric's name.

"Children," Dumbledore said, breaking the silence. "I do believe that Cedric is going to be in the show a lot. So let us not be quiet every time he is mentioned."

"But then how will we show respect to him?" asked Cho, her eyes tearing up.

"It does not do well to dwell on the past and forget to live your life, my dear," Dumbledore gently said.

**[Enter CEDRIC DIGGORY]**

**CEDRIC: [pushes Harry and Ron to floor] (Sing) Oh, Cho Chang**  
**I am so in love with Cho Chang**  
**From Bangkok to Ding Dang**  
**I sing my love aloud for Cho Chang**

**[Exit LAVENDER, CHO, PANSY & CEDRIC]**

**HARRY: (Talk) I hate that guy! I hate him!**

Harry's mouth tightened at those words. _"I can't believe a character playing me would even say that." _

**RON: [To Ginny] So are we going to get those robes or not?**

**GINNY: Ok, alright, let's go!**

**RON: God! Sister!**

**[Exit HARRY, RON, HERMIONE & GINNY]**

**[Enter NEVILLE, CRABBE & GOYLE]**

**GOYLE: [Bumping into Neville] Present your arm, nerd!**

**NEVILLE: W-w-what will you do?**

**GOYLE: Indian-burn-hex!**

**NEVILLE: Aaah!**

"I am not stupid enough to do that," Neville proclaimed.

"Neville, you aren't stupid," Hermione encouraged her friend.

**[Enter HARRY, RON, HERMIONE & GINNY]**

**RON: Oh, Crabbe and Goyle!**

**GINNY: [Helping Neville] Oh, are you okay?**

**HARRY: Hey, why don't you leave Neville Longbottom alone, huh?**

**[Exit NEVILLE]**

**GOYLE: Well, well, well, if it isn't Harry Potter! You think because you're famous, you can boss everyone around.**

"Wow, he actually can talk. I don't think I have seen him do that in real life," Ron said, bemused at the sight.

The Twins laughed at their younger brother's words.

**HARRY: No, I just don't think it's cool for guys of your size to be picking on guys like Neville, come on!**

**GOYLE: [Taking Harry's glasses] Oh, well you know what I think? I think glasses are for nerds! [Snaps glasses] We hate nerds!**

**CRABBE: And girls!**

**RON: [Stands behind Hermione] Well you asked for it! You don't mess with Harry Potter. He beat the Dark Lord when he was a baby!**

"You do look confident, Weasley. Standing behind Granger like that," Draco sneered.

"Shut up, Malfoy," Ron muttered, his ears turning red. Ginny turned around and glared at him while the Twins were taking out their wands.

Snape stepped in, saying, "Wands away, boys."

**HERMIONE: Okay, alright. Everyone just calm down. Oculus reparo! [Fixes glasses]**

**HARRY: [Puts on fixed glasses] Wow, cool!**

**HERMIONE: Okay, now let's leave these big baby childlike jerks alone.**

**[Enter DRACO]**

**DRACO: Did someone say Draco Malfoy?**

For a split seconds, the room was silent. Then, everyone started talking and laughing at once.

"Oh, Merlin, Malfoy," Ron wheezed out between his laughter, "You're played by a girl."

"Nice blonde wig, Malfoy," Ginny cried out, holding her stomach.

"And I thought my character was bad," chuckled Harry.

"Well I must say," one of the twins said seriously after most of the laughter had gone down.

"You look better as a girl than," the next one commented.

"You do as a ferret," the first one replied, finishing the sentence.

This cause a whole new burst of laughter throughout the room. Even Snape cracked a smile at the sight of this girl playing Draco. Professor McGonagall was trying and failing to quiet the students down while Dumbledore was sitting happily, smiling. All the other members in the room were laughing at Fred and George's comments. Well, every but Draco.

Staring at the screen, Draco's expression grew fierce. "How can the muggle filth play my?" Draco cried out above all the laughter. "This is a common, ugly, muggle girl playing me. I do not find this funny at all. Wait till my father hears about this."

"Perhaps," Dumbledore said, breaking through all the giddiness, "we should get back to the show. We would like to finish at a reasonable time. And with all these interruptions, we won't."

Everyone stopped immediately and turned their eyes to the screen. But Draco was still muttering under his breath about how his father would hear about this.

**HARRY: What do you want, Draco?**

**DRACO: Crabbe, Goyle, be dears and go pay for my robes will you?**

"Why do you need Crabbe and Goyle to buy your robes with all your house-elves?" asked Ron, turning to face Draco.

"Shut it, Weasel," was all that Draco said, still embarrassed at the sight of his character.

**[Exit CRABBE and GOYLE]**

**DRACO: So, Potter, back for another year at Hogwarts are you? Maybe this year, you'll wise up and hang out with a higher caliber of wizard.**

**HARRY: Hey, listen Malfoy. Ron and Hermione are my best friends in the whole world. I wouldn't trade them for anything.**

**[Ginny attempts to join trio, pushed away by Ron]**

"Ronald, what have I told you," Hermione started, but Ron cut her off.

"Hermione, that isn't me," Ron insisted. "You know that I would let Ginny hang out with us if she wanted to."

Hermione went to try and protest, but Ginny beat her to it. "Hermione," she said, "I really don't care. This isn't real, so why bother getting worked up about it?"

**MALFOY: Have it your way. Wait, don't tell me: red hair, hand-me-down clothes and a stupid complexion. You must be a Weasley!**

The Twins cracked their fist, as if getting ready for a fight. Draco just sneered their way, but didn't say anything.

**RON: Oh my God, lay off Malfoy! She may be a pain in the ass, ok, but she's my pain in the ass.**

"Thanks Ron," Ginny sarcastically commented.

**DRACO: Well, isn't this cute, it's like a little loser family! Hogwarts has really gone to the dogs, luckily next year, I'll be transferred to Pigfarts!**

"What's Pigfarts, Professor?" Cho asked Dumbledore. All the other students looked at him as well.

"I don't know, but perhaps we will find out later," Dumbledore simply said, leaving room for wonder.

**[Exit HARRY, RON, HERMIONE, and GINNY]**

**[Enter CRABBE and GOYLE]**

**DRACO: (Sing) This year you bet I'm gonna get outta here**  
**the reign of Malfoy is drawing near**  
**I'll have the greatest wizard career,**  
**and it's gonna be totally awesome**

"Wow, Ferret. You have a really high voice here," the Twins said at the same time. Draco looked down at his lap, shielding his face from everyone in the room.

**DRACO: (Sing) Look out world, for the dawn of the day**  
**When everyone will do whatever I say**

"That's likely," the Golden Trio said together.

**DRACO: (Sing) And that Potter won't be in my way, and then**  
**I'll be the one who is totally awesome!**

**GOYLE: Yeah you'll be the one who is totally awesome.**

**HERMIONE: (Talk) Guys, come on! We're gonna miss the train!**

**[Enter Hogwarts students]**

**ALL: (Sing) Who knows how fast this year's gonna go?**  
**Hand me a glass, let the butterbeer flow**

**HARRY: Maybe at last, I'll talk to Cho!**

"Ah, does Potter have a crush?" Draco asked sneering.

"Shut it, Ferret," Harry muttered, not facing him. He knew that Cho, Ginny, and Draco were looking at him, but he didn't want them to see him blush. He knew that he would never get Cho, even if Cedric didn't die. And he could never go after Cedric's girlfriend. Besides, his crush only lasted until the beginning of summer. Harry was over her now.

**RON: Oh no, that'd be way too awesome**

**ALL: We're back to learn everything that we can**

"I sure hope you are. After all, that is what school is for," Professor McGonagall stated. All the students besides Hermione sheepishly nodded their heads.

** ALL: It's great to come back to where we began**  
** And here we are, and alakazam!**

**Here we go, this is totally awesome!**

**Come on and teach us everything you know**  
**The summer's over and were itchin' to go**

"That's likely," the Twins muttered under their breaths. Harry and Ron snickered, but the Professors didn't catch on to the Twins mischief.

**NEVILLE: I think we're ready for: Albus Dumbledore!**

**ALL: Ahhhhhh.**

**[Enter DUMBLEDORE]**

**DUMBLEDORE: Welcooooooooooome**

Everyone stared in surprise at Dumbledore's character. But, no one said anything in respect for the great old wizard.

**DUMBLEDORE: All of you to Hogwarts**  
**I Welcome back you all to school**  
**Did you know that here at Hogwarts**  
**We've got a hidden swimming pool?**

**Welcome, welcome, welcome Hogwarts**  
**Welcome, hotties, nerds, and tools**  
**Now that I've got you here at Hogwarts**  
**I'd like to go over just a couple of rules:**

**(Talk) My name is Albus Dumbledore and I am headmaster of Hogwarts. You can all call me Dumbledore. Of course, you can also call me Albus if you want a detention. I'm just kidding, I'll expel you if you call me Albus!**

"How come we can't," Fred, or maybe George said.

"Call you Albus in," the other one replied.

"Real life?" both the Twins finished.

Professor McGonagall just shook her head at the boys. "Fred, George, not now."

**ALL: (Sing) Back to wizards and witches, and magical beasts**  
**To goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts**  
**It's all that I love, and it's all that I need.**  
**At HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS,**

**Back to spells and enchantments, potions and friends**  
**To Gryffindors!**  
**Hufflepuffs!**  
**Ravenclaws!**  
**Slytherins!**

"Notice how the Slytherins cries are the loudest," Draco said under his breath. No one but Snape heard him, so all he got was a glare from the Potions Professor.

**ALL: Back to the place where our story begins**  
**At Hogwarts, Hogwarts,**

**DUMBLEDORE: I'm sorry, what's its name?**

**ALL: Hogwarts, Hogwarts**

**Dumbledore: I didn't hear you kids!**

**ALL: Hogwarts, Hogwarts**

**HARRY: (Talk) Man, I'm glad I'm back.**

At this point, the second part finished, and everyone sat back in their seats. All was silent until, "So Harry, you got a crush on Cho?" one of the Twins asked. This caused a eruption of laughter throughout the room. Harry, having gotten over his crush earlier this summer, could only slouch down in his seat and hope that no one could see his blush. Cho, too, had rosy red cheeks from being the source of entertainment from the Twins.

"Alright, students," Professor McGonagall sternly said. "Enough of laughing at Mr. Potter's expense. Shall we try to next clip?" Without waiting for a reply, she leaned forward in her seat a presses the next button using the mouse.

* * *

**Now this was a long chapter. I hope you enjoyed all the reactions to Draco's character. I tried really hard to get them right, so please ley me know if I did it well, And sorry about the lateness of this chapter. I justsarted working at a ew summer and fall job, so I have been really busy. This takes a lot of time to go through and comment on things. This chapter alone probably took at least three and a half hours to complete. But I love writing this for you. So if you could leave a review, that would be totally awesome. Peace Out!~**


	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER****: I DO NOT OWN STARKID OR HARRY POTTER. IF I DID, I WOULDN'T BE ON THIS WEBSITE. I WOULD BE SITTING IN MY MILLION DOLLAR HOT TUB.**

* * *

_Harry, having gotten over his crush earlier this summer, could only slouch down in his seat and hope that no one could see his blush. Cho, too, had rosy red cheeks from being the source of entertainment from the Twins._

_"Alright, students," Professor McGonagall sternly said. "Enough of laughing at Mr. Potter's expense. Shall we try to next clip?" Without waiting for a reply, she leaned forward in her seat a presses the next button using the mouse._

* * *

**DUMBLEDORE: Yes, yes. Welcome to another magical year at Hogwarts. And a very special welcome to my favorite student, Mister Harry Potter. **

"See Professor Snape," Draco said, "Dumbledore does favor Potter."

"Enough, Draco," Snape calmly stated, not wanting to get into the same argument with Draco again.

**DUMBLEDORE: He killed Voldemort when he was just a baby. He's even got that little lightning scar to prove it. Another very special welcome to our newest addition to Gryffindor, Mr. Ginny, excuse me, Ms. Ginny Weasley.**

Ginny blushed, but then turned angry. How could anyone mistake her for a boy. Sure, she had six older brothers and there hadn't been a girl Weasley in generations, but still. Ginny was sure that she looked like a girl. Even if she was wearing that horrid wig.

**GINNY: Yeah, I'm a girl. And um also, aren't we supposed to be sorted by the sorting hat?**

**DUMBLEDORE: Well, a funny thing happened to the sorting hat. He actually got hitched with another piece of enchanted magical clothing. So, he and the scarf of sexual preference aren't going to be back until next year!**

"Is that true, Professor?" the Twins asked, one pulling out a small notebook.

"Quiet, Fred and George," Professor McGonagall scolded. But the Twins just laughed and whispered something to each other. Then, one of them wrote something down on the notebook. Harry had a sneaking suspicion that a scarf would be the Twins next prank product.

**DUMBLEDORE: Basically, I've just been putting anybody who looks like a good guy into Gryffindor and anybody who looks like a bad guy into Slytherin and the other two can just go wherever the hell they want, I don't really care.**

**CEDRIC: [Stand] Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders!**

**DUMBLEDORE: What the hell is a Hufflepuff? [CEDRIC sit with a smile] **

All the students burst into laughter at the sight of Cedric. Though both Harry and Cho were slightly sad, they both still laughed at this guy.

**DUMBLEDORE: Anyway, it's time now for me to introduce my very good friend, our own potions professor, Mister Severus Snape!**

**[Applause]**

**RON: Oh man, Snape? I hoped they'd fired that guy!**

"Ronald!" Hermione exclaimed, hitting him on the head again. "Snape is a Professor!"

Ron, holding his head as if in pain, retorted, "That doesn't make him not evil. Look at Quirrell."

**GINNY: Why? What's wrong with professor Snape?**

**RON: Nothing, he's just evil!**

"See," Ron said, "even that bloke agrees with me."

"That bloke is you," Hermione responded.

**[Enter SNAPE]**

Again, for the second time in minutes, the students shook with laughter at their Professor. Snape, for his part, didn't say anything. His face was covered with a mask that didn't show any emotion. Once the children had laughed their hearts out, the show started again.

**HARRY: Come on Ron, he's really not that bad, I don't know what you're talking about.**

"Thank you, Harry," Hermione said. "Se Ron, at least someone agrees with me." Though Harry didn't say it, he secretly agreed with Ron's character in the show.

**SNAPE: Harry Potter! Detention!**

**HARRY: What?**

**SNAPE: For talking out of turn! **

"That is the most screwed up thing I have ever heard," Ron pointed out, trying to redeem himself in Hermione's eyes. Hermione just fluffed her hair and looked away not getting into an argument.

**SNAPE: Now, before we all begin, I'm going to give you all your very first pop quiz.**

**[Groans from all, Hermione: Yess!]**

"Of course you would like that," Neville said.

**SNAPE: Can anyone tell me what a portkey is? Oh yes, Miss Granger.**

**HERMIONE: [Speaking fast] A portkey is an enchanted object that when touched will transport the one who touched it to anywhere in the globe, decided upon by the enchanter.**

"Could you talk any," the Twin to the right said.

"Faster, Hermione?" the other one finished.

**SNAPE: Very good. Now, can anyone tell me what foreshadowing is? Oh yes, Miss Granger.**

**HERMIONE: [Speaking fast] Foreshadowing is a dramatic device in which an important plot point is mentioned early in the story to return later in a more significant way.**

**SNAPE: Perfect.**

**RON: What's a portkey again? I missed that one.**

"Really Ron?" Ginny muttered under her breath. "Any why are you eating?" She asked louder, but no one answered her.

**HERMIONE: [Speaking fast] A portkey is an object that will transport you anywhere-**

**Ron: [Cutting Hermione off] Got it, omg.**

**SNAPE: And remember a portkey can be any sort of seemingly harmless object, like a football or a dolphin.**

**LAVENDER: Professor? Can, like, a person be a portkey?**

**SNAPE: No, that's absurd! Because then if a person were to touch themselves [stares at Ron]**

"What's he looking at me for?" Ron asked under his breath to Harry and Hermione.

**SNAPE: They would constantly be transported into different places. A person can, however, be a horcrux.**

Dumbledore's eyes widened at that word. _"How could they know about that?" _he wondered to himself. _"And what does that have to do with the story. Harry had already destroyed Voldemort's horcrux. Hopefully they won't go into the Chamber again."_

**HARRY: What's a horcrux?**

**SNAPE: I'm not even going to tell you Harry, you'll find out soon enough!**

"Headmaster, what is a horcrux?" Harry asked, still looking confused at the word. All of the other students turned to him, but Dumbledore didn't say anything. Hopefully, the tory wouldn't go into that piece of magic.

**Hermione: Professor, what is the point of this quiz?**

**SNAPE: Oh, no, no, no point in particular. Just important information that everyone should know! Especially you! [Points at audience]. Now moving right along. There are four houses in all: Gryffindor…**

**GRIFFINDORS: Woo!**

**SNAPE: …Ravenclaw…**

**RAVENCLAWS: Yaow!**

**SNAPE: …Hufflepuff…**

**CEDRIC: Find!**

**SNAPE: What? … And Slytherin.**

**SLYTHERINS: Sssss!**

**SNAPE: Now traditionally points are given for good behavior and deducted for rule-breaking. Example: ten points from Gryffindor!**

**GRIFFINDORS: What?**

**SNAPE: For Miss Granger's excessive baby face.**

**HARRY & RON: Thanks, Hermione.**

"Ronald, Harry," Hermione scolded while blushing. She hoped that this show wouldn't bring out all her insecurities to the world.

**SNAPE: Traditionally the house with the most points at the end of the year would win the house cup. However this year, we're doing things a bit differently. Here to introduce it is our new professor of the dark arts, Professor Quirrell!**

Everyone who knew Quirrell's true face shivered. Harry's faced darkened, not wanting to see where this show was going. He would get into so much trouble.

**[Enter QUIRRELL and VOLDEMORT]**

"Why are there two people under his cloak?" Cho wondered out loud, not knowing who Quirrell really was. No one answered her.

**HARRY: [Touching scar] Ow!**

**QUIRRELL: The house cup! A time honored tradition, for centuries –**

**DRACO: Go home terrorist!**

"What?" Draco asked, confused at why his character was saying that. He knew that Quirrell had the Dark Lord on the back of his head, but it still didn't make sense.

**QUIRRELL: For centuries, the four houses of Hogwarts have competed for the honor and glory of holding the title of house champion, but where does this competition come from and what are the roots of the tradition?**

**HERMIONE: [Speaking fast] The house cup tournament began with the first generation of Hogwarts students!**

**QUIRRELL: That was a rhetorical question.**

**DUMBLEDORE: Granger, quit interrupting, twenty points from Gryffindor.**

**RON: Thanks Hermione.**

"Why do you pick on Hermione so much?" Ginny asked her brother. Ron blushed and didn't answer.

**QUIRRELL: As I was saying, when the tournament first originated, it was one of a completely different sort. One champion from each of the four houses would complete a series of dangerous tasks. The winner would not only win the cup. He would also win eternal glory.**

**HERMIONE: Kind of like a Triwizard tournament!**

The Hogwarts student's faces darkened at the remembrance of the past year. Wishing with all his might, Harry hoped that this said tournament or the other one would not be played at Hogwarts.

**QUIRRELL: Yes, sort of like the Triwizard tournament. Except, no, not like that at all. There are four houses: how can it be the Triwizard tournament with four teams?**

**HERMIONE: Well, professor, if I remember correctly the house cup tournament was disbanded after one semester when one of its students was killed during the first task!**

"So it's exactly like a Triwizard Tournament," Harry muttered under his breath.

**QUIRRELL: Yes, it is very dangerous, but the rewards far outweigh the risks.**

Harry shook his head. "No they don't. No reward is better than losing your life."

**HERMIONE: I don't think you heard me, I just said somebody died!**

**DUMBLEDORE: Hermione Granger shut your ungodly lopsided mouth and quit interrupting, twenty more points!**

**RON: Thanks, Hermione.**

**DUMBLEDORE: God! For the cleverest witch of your age you really can be a dumb-ass ****sometimes!**

"Why are you laughing at her?" Ginny asked, shoving both Harry's and Ron's head into each other.

**[Laughter]**

**Dumbledore: Ten points to Dumbledore!**

"Good one, Professor," the Twins laughed.

**QUIRRELL: Yes, yes, while it will be very dangerous but the winner will be remembered as a hero for ages to come, and as the professor of the Defense Against the Dark Arts, I believe this practical application, is exactly what the curriculum needs to – [VOLDEMORT sneezes]**

"Who just sneezed?" Cho and Neville asked at the same time.

**DUMBLEDORE: Did your turban just sneeze?**

**QUIRRELL: What? No.**

**DUMBLEDORE: I could've sworn I heard a sneeze coming from your direction but your mouth wasn't moving.**

**QUIRRELL: No, that was simply a fart. Excuse me. [VOLDEMORT sneezes]**

"What a git," Ron exclaimed softly. "Why would anyone believe him?"

**[QUIRRELL makes to leave, bumping into HARRY]**

**HARRY: [Touching scar] Ow, ow.**

**QUIRRELL: I must be going. [VOLDEMORT sneezes] I was simply farting once more, excuse me.**

**[Exit QUIRRELL and VOLDEMORT]**

**DUMBLEDORE: Now, with the newly resurrected house cup, a champion from each house will be selected to compete. So, Snape, would you do us the honors please.**

"Let Snape pick our names out of a cup for a tournament that might kill us?" Harry exclaimed?

**SNAPE: [Fetching cup] Yes headmaster. First, from the Ravenclaw house: Miss Cho Chang.**

**CHO: Oh my god I won! Can you believe that y'all?**

"How could I be excited for this?" Cho asked.

**SNAPE: Next, from Hufflepuff: Mr Cedric Diggory.**

**CEDRIC****: Well, I don't _find_ this surprising at all.**

"What is it with these 'find' jokes?" Neville asked, not getting anything.

**CHO: Now I can spend more time with my beloved boyfriend.**

**CEDRIC****: I'm glad as well my darling. [Kisses CHO's head]**

**SNAPE: Next, from the Slytherin house: Draco Malfoy!**

**DRACO: Ha, oh, I finally beat you didn't I Potter? What do you think of that, huh? [Leaning over Hermione] I'm the champion this time!**

"What are you doing Malfoy?" Hermione asked, looking at him weirdly.

**DUMBLEDORE: Draco would you sit down you little shit! Champion's just a title.**

**SNAPE: And finally, from the Gryffindor house … oh my, well isn't this curious, the one person in all of Hogwarts whom I have a well-known grudge against is suddenly in a tournament where he may very well lose his life.**

"Great, so it's exactly like the Triwizard Tournament," Harry said to everyone.

**NEVILLE: If it's me I'll just apologize to my fellow Gryffindors right now f-for, losing**

**SNAPE: Sit down you inarticulate bum.**

"It's okay, Neville," Hermione comforted.

**SNAPE: It's Harry Potter.**

**[Gryffindors cheer, RON with much enthusiasm]**

"I look so stupid," Ron murmured, shaking his head.

**DUMBLEDORE: Give it up now for our Hogwarts champions. I want all of you to start preparing immediately, because the first task is in two months, and it could be anything, so let's get to it!**

**[Students cheer for their respective house champions, DRACO is the only one cheering for himself]**

"See, Malfoy," Ginny sneered at the Slytherin, "no one likes you."

**[Exit all but HARRY, RON, and HERMIONE]**

* * *

**~Oh, I love this show. I hope everyone else does to. So, next week I will be starting school, so I won't be updating so quickly. I plan to update once a wek, but it may be longer. But don't worry. I will never abandon this story. It's one of my favorites. I hope you don't stop reading it either. I hope everyone liked the reactions and everything else. Peace Out!~**


	7. Chapter 7

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN POSTERS, BOOKS, AND MOVIES- NOT HARRY POTTER OR STARKID. WHAT CRAZY PERSON DO YOU THINK I AM?**

* * *

_Previously:_**  
**

_**[Students cheer for their respective house champions, DRACO is the only one cheering for himself]**_

_"See, Malfoy," Ginny sneered at the Slytherin, "no one likes you."_

_**[Exit all but HARRY, RON, and HERMIONE]**_

* * *

"That's the end of the part," Hermione wisely said. "Should I click on the next one?"

Dumbledore pondered this for a minute, and then said, "Why don't you, Ms. Granger."

**RON: Harry, you got the tournament, in the bag.**

**HARRY: I don't know man, Cedric Diggory: he's pretty awesome- NOT! He sucks, we're totally gonna win, it's in the bag! [High-fives RON]**

Harry's face turned bitter, still sad about how he had indeed won the Tournament.

**HERMIONE: I don't know, Harry I thi-**

**RON: Oh my God! Hermione shut up. Why do you have to rain on everybody's parade?**

"Ron!" Ginny shouted, smacking him on the back of the head.

"Ouch, Ginny," Ron said protesting. "That really hurt."

"Then don't pick on Hermione!" Ginny stated.

**HERMIONE: Because, Ron, this is dangerous!**

**HARRY: Dangerous? Oh come on Hermione how dangerous can it be, especially for me.**

**HERMIONE: Well, you're not invincible Harry, somebody died in this tournament.**

**HARRY: Uh, I'm the boy that _lived_, not _died,_ and what's the worst that can happen?**

Everyone laughed, even Hermione who was a little put out by the last comment.

**HERMIONE: And I don't know about that Quirrell character. You know first he resurrects some horrible ancient tournament. Then, he bumps into you and your scar starts to hurt, and I have to admit, there was something completely funky about the back of his head.**

"Ah, Hermione," Fred or George said.

"Always the voice of reason," the other one finished.

Hermione flushed, her cheeks growing a shade of red that would make the Weasley's proud. "At least I was right," she commented.

**HARRY: Come on, think about it, Professor Quirrell is a professor, and who hires professors?**

**HARRY & RON: Dumbledore!**

"Well who else would?" Ginny asked jokingly. "Snape?"

"Professor Snape," Professor McGonagall scolded.

**HARRY: He's the smartest most awesomest, practical, beautiful wizard, in the whole world. **

Harry blushed at these words, sinking down into his seat. _"I would never say that,"_ he thought. _"Sure, I think Dumbledore's a cool bloke, but no in that sense."_

"I am glad you think so highly of me, Mr. potter," Dumbledore said, replying to Harry's blush. The Boy Who Lived tried to sink lower in his seat. Everyone in the rom laughed at Harry's obvious embarrassment.

**HARRY: I mean, why would he possibly hire somebody that's trying to hurt me?**

"I have been wrong before, Mr. Potter," Dumbledore said grayly. This statement put a damper on things in the room.

**HERMIONE: Well, well, I mean what about Snape?**

**HARRY: Yeah, what about him?**

"Yes, Ms. Granger," Snape commented. "What about me?"

**HERMIONE: He's hated you for years! And he's hated your parents too Harry everybody knows that. And he just so happens to pick your name out of the house cup out of hundreds - if not five - possible Gryffindors.**

"Yes, I must have an evil plot to kill Harry Potter because I hated his father," Snape said wryly, not noticing everyone's stares. Dumbledore chuckled quietly. _"Not everyone is uses to Severus's keen sense of humor."_

**HARRY: Yeah, what a coincidence! We lucked out.**

"You keep on believing that, Harry," the Twins said at the same time.

**HERMIONE: No, Harry I don't think it is a coincidence. When you defeated Voldemort, you made a lot of enemies. Ones you might not even know about.**

**HARRY: Alright, so let me get this straight, you're saying that this tournament is just one big ploy to try and kill me.**

"Yes, Harry. That is exactly what I am saying," Hermione said, tired of hearing her friends second guess her.

**HERMIONE****: I mean, I don't know, maybe! Anyway, I just think it's dangerous and I don't think you should do it.**

**HARRY: Alright Hermione if it means that much to you I'll drop out.**

"What!" Ron shouted. "You can't drop out, Harry."

"Ron, I didn't," Harry explained to his red haired friend.

**HERMIONE: Oh thank you Harry. [Hugs HARRY]**

Both Ginny and Cho glared at Hermione, even though she wasn't doing anything wrong. Then Ginny looked away, ashamed that she would think that.

**HARRY: No problem.**

**RON: Wait, wait, what? The house cup, what about all the eternal glory you'd win, come on!**

**HARRY: Hey. Eternal glory already got that. Besides, Neville will be a great champion.**

"Thanks, Harry," Neville said. "But I don't think I'd want to be champion. You can do it."

**RON: No, no, I do not want Shlongbottom to be my champion.**

"At least I get someones vote of confidence," Neville said, joking at his roommate.

**HERMIONE: Okay look, all you have to do is- hey, look, there's Dumbledore, why don't you just talk to him now and tell him that you're dropping out.**

**[Enter DUMBLEDORE]**

**HARRY: Listen Hermione, Dumbledore and I are really, really cool, we're super tight and I don't want him to think that I'm lazy or disrespectful or anything so can you just tell, why don't you tell him? Just tell him I wanna work on school or something, alright? Hey, you got this one, you're the best. [nips HERMIONE's nose]**

Hermione and Harry blushed at what their characters were doing. Cho, on the other hand, looked at them with discontent.

**HERMIONE: Alright.**

**HARRY: You got it.**

**HERMIONE: Okay.**

**HARRY: Don't worry 'bout it.**

**HERMIONE: Dumbledore!**

**DUMBLEDORE: Yes Granger?**

**HERMIONE: Uhhh, I – I need to talk to you for a moment, it's about the house cup tournament. Well, first of all, I think it's an awful idea, **

"It is," Hermione said.

**HERMIONE: But second of all, I don't think that Harry Potter should compete.**

**DUMBLEDORE: Granger, why do you always gotta be such a big old stick in the mud huh? **

The person in question blushed at what Dumbledore had said.

"You know you aren't Hermione," Ron said, putting his arm around her in comfort.

"Yeah, Hermione," Harry agreed, taking her hand into his. "We both love you."

Thanks boys," Hermione softly cried out. Neither Harry, Hermione, nor anyone else in the room noticed Ron's blush when Harry said the word love. Well, no one but Ginny.

**DUMBLEDORE: Pray, tell me why Harry Potter should not compete?**

**HERMIONE: Uh, because, he, wants to study.**

**DUMBLEDORE: Granger, nobody studies at Hogwarts except for you!**

"That was a pitiful excuse, Harry," Ginny scolded. "Anyone who actually knows you wouldn't believe that."

**HERMIONE: Ah, well, he wants to focus on the OWLs.**

**DUMBLEDORE: Why couldn't Harry have told me this himself? He thinks I'm cool. [DUMBLEDORE takes wand out of hat] We're tight.**

All the student's laugh at the Headmaster's line.

**HERMIONE: Uhhh, Profess- I'm a really bad liar, ok, I think it's a ruse. A setup - and I even think Snape might be trying to kill Harry Potter.**

**DUMBLEDORE: Severus Snape is one of the kindest, bravest, gentlest, sexiest men I ever met. **

This comment was followed gasps and then silence. Snape looked away from everyone, determining not to let his mask fall. Dumbledore simply twirled his thumbs in his seat, looking at everyone. Harry, Hermione, and Ron all looked at each other, not believing their ears.

"Perhaps we should keep watching the show," Professor McGonagall offered weakly.

**DUMBLEDORE: Severus Snape is trying to kill Harry Potter just about as much as he's trying to kill me, huh!**

**[Enter SNAPE]**

Again, all the students laughed again at the sight of Snape.

**SNAPE: Oh why, Professor Dumbledore I just happened to be in the kitchen and I made you this delicious sandwich. [Shows sandwich with bomb on it]**

"So it's official, Harry," the Twin on the left said.

"Snape is trying to kill you," the one of the right finished.

While everyone laughed at Fred and George's antics, Snape and Dumbledore had a silent conversation with their eyes. After Dumbledore determined that Snape wasn't trying to kill him, he urged the students to keep watching.

**DUMBLEDORE: Why thank you Severus, you see Granger, how thoughtful!**

**HERMIONE: Uhhh …**

"At least I'm smart," Hermione muttered under her breath. She hoped that no one could hear her.

**SNAPE: Here you are Professor. Bomb appétit, I mean, Bon appétit. [pushes button on sandwich]**

Even though the situation wasn't funny, The Hogwarts kids couldn't help but laugh at how obvious Dumbledore was.

**[Bomb ticks]**

**HERMIONE: Umm, is that sandwich ticking?**

**DUMBLEDORE: Is looks like its licking, finger licking good!**

"You know Gred," George commented, turning to his twin.

"That would be a good invention," Fred commented.

"Thank's Professors," they both said, causing Professor McGonagall to shake her head.

**HERMIONE: Uhhh, Professor, I don't think you should eat that sandwich.**

**DUMBLEDORE: Why Granger, you oughtta listen to Snape more often, you might even get a sandwich out of it. I don't know.**

**[HERMIONE takes the sandwich bomb and throws it offstage, it explodes]**

**DUMBLEDORE: Granger what are you doing? You done gone and exploded my sandwich!**

**HERMIONE: I'm sorry sir!**

_"How could anyone be that stupid?" _Draco wondered to himself. **  
**

**DUMBLEDORE: Hey, even if I did believe that Harry Potter was in danger he has to compete. You see that cup?**

**HERMIONE: Yes.**

**DUMBLEDORE: It's enchanted. **

"Well, duh," Ron said.

**DUMBLEDORE: Who's ever names come out of the cup has to compete or the results would be bad.**

**HERMIONE: What do you mean bad?**

**DUMBLEDORE: Well, try to imagine your entire life stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.**

**HERMIONE: Total plutonic reversal!**

"That is totally a made-up spell," Hermione grumbled as everyone else in the room laughed.

"But Hermione,"Ron protested, "if you said it then it must be true."

The girl in questions glared at him. "Not everything I say is true, Ronald."

"Then why do you think that everything you say is true," he shot back.

Hermione mumbled, trying to protest when Harry said, "That is true, Hermione."

"Some friends you are," she murmured back.

**DUMBLEDORE: Yeah, so you see he has to compete and Hermione if it makes you feel any better the last guy that died in the tournament was a Hufflepuff**

"Oh Cedric," Cho whimpered with tears forming in her eyes.

**DUMBLEDORE: So um, I'll keep my eyes open, and nothing's gonna get past old Dumbledore!**

_"Sure nothing gets past you," _the Golden trio thought to themselves.**  
**

**HERMIONE: Alright.**

**DUMBLEDORE: Now I gotta go make myself another sandwich, although I don't know how it's gonna be as good as the last one, the last one ticked!**

"I must say," Dumbledore interrupted, "I do find this other self to be quite refreshing." He smiled happily to himself as everyone else looked at him strangely.

**[Exit DUMBLEDORE]**

**HERMIONE: [Call after] Because it was a bomb. [To RON and HARRY] Harry, I'm so sorry but, I think you're gonna have to compete in the house cup tournament. But don't worry; I won't rest until I find out what the first task is going to be.**

**RON: And I'll sabotage all the other champions so you win by default.**

**HARRY: Alright, awesome!**

"Getting your friends to do your dirty work, eh Potter?" Draco implied, smirking at the Boy-Who-Lived.

"Shut it, Ferret," Harry said darkly. "I never said that."

**[Enter DRACO, carried by GOYLE, followed by CRABBE]**

While everyone but the Professors in the room laughed, Fred and Georges' laughs were the loudest.

"I didn't know that you couldn't walk by yourself, Malfoy," Ginny said, despite having her breath being short by all the laughter.

**DRACO: Well, isn't this touching.**

**RON: Oh my gosh, just butt out Malfoy! **

"Why do I keep eating," Ron asked himself. "I don't eat the much in real life."

Everyone avoided looking at him after that comment, not wanting to laugh at the sight of Ron being puzzled about why he was eating so much.

"And why do I keep rolling around on the floor?" Draco protested, letting his presence be known. It was too bad that no one answered him, all to busy laughing at his character on the screen.

**DRACO: Goyle and I have a bet you know. ****He says you won't last five minutes in this tournament. I disagree. **

"Seriously, why do I keep doing that," Draco wondered aloud. "And stop laughing."

**DRACO: I say you won't last five minutes at Pigfarts!**

"There it is again, Professor," Ginny commented, turing to Dumbledore. "What is that?"

Looking at the faces surrounding him, Dumbledore sighed and said, "Perhaps if we watch, it will all be explained."

**HERRY: What? Alright Malfoy, what, what is Pigfarts?**

**DRACO: Oh, never heard of it? Huh, figures, famous Potter doesn't even know about Pigfarts!**

"What is Pigfarts?" Ginny asked the Headmaster again, determined to get answers.

"I must honestly tell you, Ms. Weasley," Dumbledore said, "I have no idea what this person is talking about."

"Why do I keep rolling around and falling off benches?" Draco asked again to the room. No one answered him. They were all either caught up in the Pigfarts drama (mostly everyone) or they were too busy laughing at him (Fred and George).

**HARRY: Malfoy, don't act like you don't wanna talk about it. That's like, the ninth time you've mentioned Pigfarts. What is Pigfarts?**

**DRACO: Pigfarts is only the greatest wizardry school in the galaxy. It's where I'm being transferred next year.**

"So it's a school," Ginny repeated. "Shouldn't you know about that, Professor?"

"It's probably made up," Hermione said, cutting off anything that Dumbledore was going to say. "Just like that spell."

**HERMIONE: Malfoy, I've never heard of that.**

**DRACO: That's because Pigfarts is on Mars.**

"Okay, I believe you, Hermione," Ginny said, holding in her laughter. "Malfoy definitely made that up."

"That isn't me, "Draco protested, setting the record straight. "And I have no idea what Pigfarts is."

**HARRY: Malfoy, you know we're trying to have a conversation here so can you just leave us alone.**

**DRACO: Oh. Oh I'm not even here.**

**HARRY: So anyways, so I think we can find out what the first task is from Dumbledore**

**DRACO: Dumbledore? **

"Way to stay out of the conversation," Ron said wryly.

**DRACO: What an old coot! He's nothing like Rumbleroar.**

**GOYLE: RUMBLEROAR!**

"Now who the bloody hell is Rumbleroar?" Ginny asked looking confused. Everyone was too caught in in the drama to scold Ginny about her language.

**HARRY: Anyway, as I was saying-**

**DRACO: Rumbleroar is the headmaster at Pigfarts. He's a lion, who can talk.**

"Yp," Ginny cried out. "That school is definitely made up."

**HARRY: Malfoy, if you don't mind, we're trying to have a conversation here it's not like, look, you're not even eating, get out of here.**

**DRACO: Well, I can't help it if we can hear everything you say; we're the only ones in here.**

**HARRY: Well, just, come on Malfoy, just get out of here, please.**

**DRACO: Where are we supposed to go?**

**HARRY: Uh, I don't know - Pigfarts.**

"Who knew that you," one twin said,

"Would have a sense of humor!" the other one cried out.

"That isn't me!" Harry protested weakly.

**DRACO: Ha ha ha. Now you're just being cute, I can't go to Pigfarts: it's on Mars. **

"You already told us that," Ginny pointed out.

**DRACO: You need a rocket ship, do you have a rocket ship, Potter? I bet you do. You know not all of us inherited enough money to buy out NASA when out parents died. **

"I didn't want them to die," Harry said, his eyes turning dark at the sound of his parents death, but no one was paying attention to him. They were all laughing at the sight on the screen. Draco, laying in between Harry and Ron, trying to make them jealous. It was beyond normal laughter.

Draco, on the other hand, was mortified. He couldn't believe how weird this person who was pretending to be him was acting. It was even worse when the Twins started shouting out jokes about him. Draco, for the first time in many years, blushed.

**DRACO: Look at this, rocket-ship-Potter, Starkid-Potter, moon-shoes-Potter, traversing the galaxy for intergalactic travel to Pigfarts.**

"You... Look... Ridiculous...Malfoy," Ginny spewed out between laughs. Everyone else, besides the Professors had broken out into laughter as well.

"I don't act that way!" Draco shouted out.

"No one said you did, Mr. Malfoy," Professor McGonagall said. "Perhaps, if you knew this, you wouldn't get so upset by this person who isn't playing the part of you very well." Though Draco did not like McGonagall, he did relax and think about what she said.

**HARRY: That's it, this is the most misguided way to try and make me feel jealous. I don't care if you make fun of me, but if you bring my parents into this, it's a whole other story. [Advances on Draco]**

**DRACO: Woah, not so fast Potter, Oh Crabbe, Goyle!**

"Like they could scare me," Harry muttered under his breath. "Nothing could scare me after what I've seen." Ron and Hermione both engaged looks.

"Harry," Hermione started, but Harry cut her off.

"No, Hermione," he said softly. "I'm not going to talk about it."

**HARRY: Oh yeah, sure, just –**

**GOYLE: [Advancing on HARRY who backs up] BACK OFF NERD!**

**HARRY: Woah, I'm scared, I'm scared.**

"You were saying, Potter?" Draco asked, but not as smirky as he had before.

"Shut up, ferret," Ron said because Harry had blushed.

**DRACO: Ha! Not so tough now, are you Potter. **

"I'm not tough?" Harry laughed slightly. "Looks who's hiding under a bench and sends their minions to do their dirty work." Meanwhile, everyone else was in fits at Draco and his antics.

**DRACO: Maybe you should hang out with someone better than that lollygagging ginger and his stupid mudblood girlfriend!**

Both Ron and Hermione blushed. Neither of them wanted to say something to each other because they were afraid it would make thing awkward now. Harry, noticing his friends rosy cheeks, nudged Ginny.

"How much do you want to bet that Ron and Hermione in either places are going to get together?" Harry asked under his breath.

"1 Galleon?" Ginny whispered back.

"You're on," Harry replied quietly.

**HERMIONE: Oh, that is it Malfoy! Jelly legs jinx!**

**[CRABBE and GOYLE wobble legs, then fall]**

**GOYLE: Hey, no fair, our legs are jelly!**

"Really, how thick could you get?" Ron asked no one, laughing along with the rest of the students.

**HERMIONE: [Pointing wand in DRACO's face] Take it back Malfoy!**

**DRACO: Take what back?**

**HERMIONE: Take back what you said about your stupid made-up space school!**

"That's what you want him to take back?" Ron asked Hermione, determined not to say anything that would make him blush again. "Really?"

**RON: Yeah, and all the stuff about Hermione being my girlfriend, that's not even a little bit true.**

Ron and Hermione blushed again. Harry himself was silently laughing at his two best friends. They really had no clue that they were both crazy about each other. He expected it from Ron, but Harry thought that Hermione would have more sense than that.

**HERMIONE: And say you're sorry for calling me a you-know-what!**

"And there's where we get the real apologize," Ron commented aloud.

**DRACO: I'm sorry!**

**HERMIONE: And you promise you'll never do it again?**

**DRACO: I promise!**

**HERMIONE: Alright. **

"You believe him, Hermione?" Harry asked in disbelief. "And they say that you're the smart one of the group."

"Harry, that isn't me," Hermione pointed out. "The real me would never believe him. Or hold him at a wand point."

"I seem to recall that you do have a nice right hook, though," Harry commented. Hermione blushed, buts aid nothing.

**HERMIONE: Now next time we tell you to leave us alone, you better do it. Come on Harry, Ron, let's get out of here. Besides, you already ate all my lunch.**

All the Hogwarts students turned to look at Ron. "What?" he asked, not knowing what was going on.

**HARRY: Thanks Hermione.**

**HERMIONE: Yeah [Pointing wand at CRABBE and GOYLE] Un-jellify!**

**RON: Wow that was like the most bad-ass thing I've ever seen, too bad no one was here to see it though, it was like an outburst of pent-up aggression, it was like 'RAGH'!**

"Ron," Ginny said, pretending to cry, "that might be the nicest thing you have ever said to Hermione."

"I have said nice things to Hermione," Ron defended himself. "And other people as well."

**[Exit HARRY, RON and HERMIONE]**

**GOYLE: Wow that sucked royal hippogriff! We got beat by a girl, who is a nerd.**

**DRACO: I didn't mean what I said you know. Pigfarts is real. [Holding nose] Am I, Am I bleeding? Goyle?**

**[GOYLE leans in and sniffs DRACO's face]**

Everyone laughed, even Snape who had been standing silently in the background. Even Draco managed a slight smile, though it looked more like a grimace.

**GOYLE: No.**

**DRACO: I thought maybe it was- maybe it was a little bit. Well, I've never been pushed down like that by a girl. Maybe I shouldn't call her a mud - whatever.**

"He actually didn't say the word," Ron cried out.

"Ron," Ginny stated, "we can hear what you hear."

**GOYLE: I can't believe I couldn't figure out the counter-curse was just un-jellify!**

"Stupid," was muttered by someone who sounded suspiciously like the Twins.

**DRACO: Right, I'm not surprised. Come on lets go watch Wizards of Waverly Place.**

"What's that?" Neville asked, confused at the Muggle reference to magic.

"I have no idea," Hermione said, frowning. "Maybe it's something from the future."

**[Exit DRACO, CRABBE and GOYLE]**

"That is the end!" the Twins cried out together, causing everyone to jump slightly out of their seats.

"It does appear so," Dumbledore replied. "Would you two do the honors?"

Fred and George got up from their seats and bounded over to the computer. Pressing the button, the next part started playing.

* * *

**~This is by far the longest chapter. But I really enjoyed writing this. Though it takes a long time, it's worth it when I see the reviews in my inbox. All the positive response I have gotten is overwhelming. Thank you so much for reading this. Though it might take longer for me to post chapters because my school started today, I will try my hardest to get chapters out once a week. All your reviews make me want to update. I'm super excited for AVP3D- AVPSY. (I think I got the name right) My friends and I are all going to see it together once it comes out. Peace Out!~**


	8. Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER: THOUGH I WISH THEY DID, HARRY POTTER AND A VERY POTTER MUSICAL DO NOT BELONG TO ME. IF THEY DID, THAT WOULD BE AWESOME, BUT SADLY, THEY DON'T. (SIGH)**

* * *

_"That is the end!" the Twins cried out together, causing everyone to jump slightly out of their seats._

_"It does appear so," Dumbledore replied. "Would you two do the honors?"_

_Fred and George got up from their seats and bounded over to the computer. Pressing the button, the next part started playing._

* * *

**[ENTER QUIRRELL AND VOLDEMORT, there is one bed and a chair with a pile of dirty laundry, Nasinex and a water bottle]**

"I just can't get over how stupid he looks," Ron muttered to Harry who was snickering at Quirrell.

**QUIRRELL: Fools! They're all fools! They think they're safe, they think they're back for another fun year of learning shenanigans at Hogwarts.**

"Who says shenanigans?" Draco asked to no one in particular.

**QUIRRELL: Little do they know the danger that's lurking right under their noses, or should I say, on the back of their heads? [Removes turban, revealing Voldemort]**

"You know, this bloke is almost scarier than the real Voldemort," Harry commented.

"Don't say that, Harry," Hermione scolded him.

"Come on, 'Minoe," Ron sputtered, "this bloke does look kind of stupid."

**VOLDEMORT: Aaah! [coughs] **

"You right, I can't take him seriously," Ginny agreed with Harry.

"Us neither, Ginny, us neither," Fred and George laughed along with the rest of the room.

**VOLDEMORT: I can't breathe in that damn turban!**

**QUIRRELL: I'm sorry, my Lord, it's a necessary precaution. For, otherwise they would know that you live. That when Harry Potter destroyed you, your soul lived on.**

**VOLDEMORT: Yes, when my body was destroyed I was forced to live in the forbidden forest, eating bugs and mushrooms and – ugh – unicorn blood.**

**QUIRRELL: Until I found you and let you attach yourself to my soul.**

**VOLDEMORT: Yes, nobody must know any of that! **

"Well, we all do now," Neville commented, causing many people to jump. Most of the students had forgotten that Neville was even in the room with them.

**VOLDEMORT: Now, Quirrell, get me some water! [Quirrell fetches water]. Now, Quirrell, pour it in my mouth! [Quirrell pours water into his mouth]**

"Merlin," Harry said between everyone's laughter, "I like this funny side of Voldemort better that then side when he's trying to kill me."

"Of course you do, Harry, of course you do," Ginny comforted him, patting him softly on the back.

"Just look at him trying to drink the water!" Ron chuckled.

**QUIRRELL: Your plan to infiltrate Hogwarts on the back of my head is going swimmingly, my liege!**

"Of course it's going," one twin said.

"Swimmingly because of all the," the other one replied.

"Water," they said together, breaking out into laughter.

The rest of the room just stared at them in wonder until the video started up again.**  
**

**VOLDEMORT: Yes, yes, yes, I'm done with the water! [QUIRRELL replaces bottle]. We must not have any more foul-ups like tonight in the Great Hall."**

Of course he blames Quirrell for his mistakes," Harry pointed out to the rest.

**QUIRRELL: I'm sorry my Lord, you sneezed.**

**VOLDEMORT: I know that! Get me some Nasinex, you swine! [QUIRRELL gives VOLDEMORT the nose spray, then uses it himself].**

"Ewwwwww," Ginny and Hermione shouted at the same time.

"Now that's just gross," Cho exclaimed, hiding her eyes behind her hand.

"We do that all the time," Fred pointed out.

"Yeah, but you're twins," Ron retorted to his older brothers.

**VOLDEMORT: Wash that turban! It tickles my nose.**

**QUIRRELL: Yes, my dark king.**

**VOLDEMORT: Okay, just relax with the 'dark king', okay, I watch you wipe your butt daily. You can call me Voldemort, we're there, we've reached that point.**

"For some reason, I can't imagine the real Voldemort saying that," Harry said to Hermione.

"That's why this is called a parody," Hermione educated her friend. "You noticed how no one is actually like their character."

**QUIRRELL: Yes – my – Voldemort.**

**VOLDEMORT: Quirrell, get us ready for bed. [QUIRRELL arranges sheets] **

"That just sounds wrong," Ron said, looking around weirdly. Everyone else agreed with him by laughing their heads off.

**VOLDEMORT: We must be well rested if we wish to kill Potter! Tonight in the great hall, he was so close, I could have touched him. [QUIRRELL drinks mouthwash] **

"Who drinks mouthwash?" Ron asked between his heavy breath.

"People who care about their teeth," Hermione shot back. "I do, and you don't think I'm weird."

"Yes, Hermione, but your parents are dentists." That comment earned Ron a slap on the head.

**VOLDEMORT: Revenge is at my fingertips, Quirrell, I can taste it: it tastes like cool mint!**

**QUIRRELL: That's called Listerine, Voldemort.**

"What an idiot," Harry muttered under his breath.

**VOLDEMORT: Yes, excellent. Well, goodnight, Quirrell.**

**QUIRRELL: Goodnight. [The pair lie on bed with VOLDEMORT face down]**

"Think about how uncomfortable that would be," Neville spewed out between his laughs.

**VOLDEMORT: Okay, okay, I can't do this! You gotta roll over, I can't sleep on my tummy!**

**QUIRRELL: I always sleep on my back, I have back troubles, it's the only way I'm comfortable.**

**VOLDEMORT: You roll over right now or I'll – I'll eat your pillow! **

"Oh, how terrifying," Draco sneered.

While everyone looked at Draco in surprise, Snape thought that there might be some hope for this kid after all.

**VOLDEMORT: You'll be having a dream that you're eating a giant marshmallow but really you'll wake up and your favorite goose feather pillow will be missing!**

**QUIRRELL: Fine, we'll compromise. We'll sleep on our side.**

**VOLDEMORT: Okay, I guess I can do this.**

**QUIRRELL: Now, goodnight.**

**VOLDEMORT: Goodnight, Quirrell. [VOLDEMORT glares at pile of dirty clothes]. **

"Why is it taking so long for a blackout?" Ginny wondered aloud.

**VOLDEMORT: Hey Quirrell. **

"That's why," Ron responded with laughter.

**VOLDEMORT: How long have those robes been on that chair?**

**QUIRRELL: I think they're from last night, I just put them there for now.**

**VOLDEMORT: Are you planning on putting them in a hamper? What's your plan with these?**

**QUIRRELL: I figured I'd just leave them there for now and maybe put them away in the morning, okay?**

**VOLDEMORT: Uh, no! No, that's not okay! I can't go to sleep knowing that there are dirty clothes on that chair! The chair's going to start to smell like dirty clothes!**

"Oh and that would be such a bad thing," Harry spoke out loud.

**QUIRRELL: Look, I promise I'll put them away in the morning!**

**VOLDEMORT: You put them away RIGHT NOW! I COMMAND you to get up and FOLD THEM at least! Make it into a neat pile.**

"Maybe that's a strategy I can use, Professor," Harry said, turning to the Headmaster. "Throw dirty clothes at Voldemort and watch him go crazy because the aren't folded."

"Somehow, my dear boy," Dumbledore replied, "I don't think that would work."

"It's worth a try," Harry murmured to himself. "Nothing else seems to work."

**QUIRRELL: [Sits up] Look, if we're going to be in this situation in a while we're going to have to learn to live with each other! Now, I've been single for all of my life**

"It sounds like they just got married," Ginny commented. Everyone around her were roaring and howling at the sight on the screen.

**QUIRRELL: and I have some habits: sometimes I leave dirty laundry around!**

**VOLDEMORT: Well, I believe that everything has its place! Muggles have their place, mudbloods have their place, and so do your clothes. Namely, a dresser!**

"Muggles and Muggleborns do not belong on that list," Ron spoke out over everyone. "They are worth more than that."

"Thanks Ron," Hermione said softly.

**QUIRRELL: [Standing up] Well, aren't we an odd couple!**

**QUIRRELL: [Sing] You won't sleep on your tummy**

**VOLDEMORT: ****[Sing]**You won't sleep on your back

"That doesn't make any sense whatsoever," Hermione said.

"Sure it does, Hermione," Fred said.

"One won't sleep on their tummy," George explained.

"And the other one won't sleep on their back," Fred finished.

"That still doesn't make any sense!" Hermine shouted to them.

"Just forgot it," Ron said softly to her, flipping of his brothers.

**VOLDEMORT & QUIRRELL: ****[Sing] **We're quite a kooky couple you'll agree

**QUIRRELL: ****[Sing] **We share some hands and fingers

**VOLDEMORT: ****[Sing] **And yet the feeling lingers

"What feeling?" Ginny asked.

**VOLDEMORT & QUIRRELL:****[Sing] ** We're just about as different as anyone could be

**VOLDEMORT: ****[Sing] **You like plotting a garden and I like plotting to kill

"That is true," Harry said matter of fact while everyone else frowned.

"Harry, mate," Ron told him, "you shouldn't feel that way."

"It's my life," Harry replied simply.

**QUIRRELL****: ****[Sing] **You think that you should rule the world, I think books are a thrill!

"They are," Hermione agreed with the previous statement.

**QUIRRELL: ****[Sing] **Sipping tea by the fire is swell

**VOLDEMORT: ****[Sing] **Pushing people in is fun as well!

"We should try that sometime!" Fred exclaimed to his twin brother.

**VOLDEMORT: ****[Sing] **I like folding all my ties

**QUIRRELL****: ****[Sing] **And you have no friends, hey that's a surprise

"He really doesn't," Harry said bemused. "Only mindless followers who do anything you ask them to."

**VOLDEMORT & QUIRRELL: ****[Sing] **I guess it's plain to see  
**when you look at you and me**  
**we're different, different, as can be!**

"I think that's pretty obvious," Ginny exclaimed.

**VOLDEMORT: ****[Sing] **You're a sissy, a fart, a girl! I'm the darkest of lords!

**QUIRRELL****: ****[Sing] **I'm the brightest professor here, I've won several awards

"He was not the brightest Professor here!" Professor McGonagall huffed. "Even if the smartest isn't me, I'm sure there were a lot of teachers smarter than that brainless oaf."

The room was silent after her outburst.

McGonagall turned red from embarrassed until Fred and George said, "You tell him, 'Minnie."

**VOLDEMORT: ****[Sing] **My new world is about to unfold

**QUIRRELL****: ****[Sing] **You got beat by a two-year-old

"I was actually only one year and three months," Harry commented.

"No one really cares, Potter," Draco sneered.

**VOLDEMORT: ****[Sing] **I'll kill him this time through-and-through

**QUIRRELL: ****[Sing] **Or you might just give him another tattoo

"I'd rather not get another one," Harry replied to Quirrell's part.

**VOLDEMORT & QUIRRELL: ****[Sing] **You really must agree  
**when you look at you and me**  
**were different, different, as can-**

"I think we got it!" Ginny shouted at the screen.

**VOLDEMORT:** **[Sing] ****I'll rise again and I'll rule the world**  
**But you must help me renew**  
**For when our plan succeeds**

**QUIRRELL****: ****[Sing]**Prevails!

**VOLDEMORT: ****[Sing]**Part of that world goes to you

"I'm sure Voldemort would do that," Harry said, calling out his bluff.

**QUIRRELL****: ****[Sing]**When I rule the world I'll plant flowers

"Flowers are really nice and pretty," Cho commented. "But I like the way the earth is now," she finished after seeing everyone's stares.

**VOLDEMORT: ****[Sing]**When I rule the world I'll have snakes

"Cause he can control them," Ron said darkly. "But hey mate," He said in a much brighter tone, "so can you."

"Yep, that's what I want to do with my life, control snakes all day," Harry replied.

**VOLDEMORT: ****[Sing] **And goblins, and werewolves, a fleet of dementors, and giants, and thestrals, and all my Death Eaters!

**QUIRRELL**** [simultaneously]: ****[Sing]**And Jane Austin novels!

"What a big list he has," Ginny said, laughing with the twins.

**VOLDEMORT & QUIRRELL: ****[Sing]**When I rule the world! Hahahaha!

"That is the stupidest evil laugh I have ever heard," Draco commented, trying not to pay attention to the looks he was getting by the students.

**[Exit VOLDEMORT and QUIRRELL]**

"That's the end!" the twins shouted before anyone else.

"I think we all can see that," Ginny responded. "I'll click the button."

"Thank you, Ms. Weasley," Dumbledore said. "Perhaps after this part, we could get some food. I think Mr. Weasley would appreciate that," Dumbledore said, nodding at Ron who nodded.

* * *

**~Thank you to all the kind reviews I got. I am thrilled at all the positive feedback I am getting for this. All the reviews you guys make really make my day a whole lot better. Anyways, one review asked me if I knew if Starkid was posting AVP3D/AVPSY on youtube. For an answer, I do believe that they are. Because so many people were complaining that able to see it, they were going to post it online. They also said that they had a lot of video to get through, so it may take a while, But yes, I do think they will be posting it online.**

**Anyways, besides that, feel free to ask me anymore questions about Starkid things you were wondering about. (On a side note for people who care, are any of you excited to see the Catching Fire cast? I know they just cast Finnick. What do you think of him?) So, yeah. I have to go now. Peace Out!~**


	9. Chapter 9

**DISCLAIMER: HARRY POTTER IS OWN BY SOMEONE ELSE. STARKID IS OWNED BY SOMEONE ELSE. IT'S PLAIN AND SIMPLE. **

* * *

_"That's the end!" the twins shouted before anyone else._

_"I think we all can see that," Ginny responded. "I'll click the button."_

_"Thank you, Ms. Weasley," Dumbledore said. "Perhaps after this part, we could get some food. I think Mr. Weasley would appreciate that," Dumbledore said, nodding at Ron who nodded._

* * *

**[HARRY is sitting on a chair next to his trunk, playing his guitar, HERMIONE is on a bench next to Harry, writing on a pad, NEVILLE is on a bench further away, arranging flowers]**

**HERMIONE: Harry, don't you think you should try and figure out what the first task is gonna be? You could _actually die_ if you're not ready!**

"Are you really that dumb Potter," Draco sneered, "to not prepare for the task?"

**HARRY: [Continues strumming] What? Come on! I mean, can't you just do it for me? Can't you just prepare all my stuff for me? I mean, what are you doing right now?**

**HERMIONE: I'm writing your potions essay.**

"I would never do that, so you better not ask me," Hermione said as soon as Harry and Ron caught her eyes. "You can do your own work."

"Yes Hermione," Harry and Ron grumbled.

**HARRY: [Stops playing] Oh, well do that first, because that's due tomorrow. **

"Five points from Gryffindor," Snape said, looking at Harry.

"What for?" Harry asked with a defient look on his face. "I have done nothing wrong."

"Ms. Granger is doing your homework and that is against the rules," Snape sneered.

"That isn't me," protested Harry, shaking his head.

"I do believe that Mr. Potter is right, Severus," Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eye.

**HARRY: But after that can you prepare for the first task, please?**

**HERMIONE: Yeah.**

**HARRY: Thank you, you are the best! [touch HERMIONE's nose] You got it, thanks Hermione. [Returns to guitar]**

**[Enter Ginny]**

**HARRY: Hey, Ginny, come here. I wanna show you something, come here!**

**GINNY: [Approaching him, sits on bench next to Hermione] Hey, Harry Potter!**

"I sound ridiculous in that voice," Ginny cried out.

**HARRY: Listen, I wanna play this song that I've been working on. [Stops playing] I met this girl that I really, really like and I wanna let her know that she's really special. So, I just wanna know what you think, just for the purposes of now because I'm still working out the lyrics. I'll put _your_ name where _her_ name should be, **

"Harry," both Ginny and Hermione said at the same time.

"You don't do that to a girl," Hermione scolded. "Especially if she likes you."

"I'll remember that, Hermione," Harry commented, looking bored, "if I ever feel the need to play guitar. I don't even know how to play that, let alone sing."

"Right, that's not you," Hermione said, blushing slightly. "I forgot."

"How come he doesn't get hit on the head?" Ron asked, still nursing his head from the last time Hermione had hit him.

**HARRY: but I don't think it's really gonna work out – because, well, let me just give it a shot. [Starts playing]**

**HARRY: You're tall and fun and pretty**  
**You're really, really skinny**  
**[Unsure] Ginny**

"What is he talking about?" Ron asked in confusion. "Ginny fits in perfectly with the song. Her name rhymes with skinny."

"That's the joke Ron," Hermione explained as if talking to a two year old.

"How are we even related to this guy," Fred said to his twin, pointing at Ron.

**HARRY: I'm the Mickey to your Minnie**  
**You're the Tigger to my Winnie**  
**Ginny**

**Wanna take you to the city**  
**Gonna take you out to dinney**  
**Ginny**

"Why do I look so excited about that?" Ginny wondered aloud, trying to hide her blush. "I don't like him."

"Sure, Ginny," Ron smiled, "whatever you say."

"I am," Ginny stressed.

**HARRY: You're cuter than a guinea pig**  
**Wanna take you up to Winnipeg**  
**That's in Canada!**

"What's Canada?" Neville asked confused.

"It's a..." Hermione started but didn't finish. She had noticed the looks she was getting from everyone else who wanted to continue. "How 'bout I tell you later, Neville."

**HARRY: Ginny, Ginny, Ginny, Ginny-**

**[Stops playing] You know what, this doesn't work with your name at all, it doesn't work. **

"Yes it does!" Ron shouted out at the screen, obviously not getting to joke.

"Never you mind, Ronald," Hermione said, rolling here yes.

**HARRY: But, I don't know, how does it make you feel, emotionally?**

**GINNY: Wow! Wowee! Harry Potter!**

**HARRY: Don't you think it could – I dunno – make a girl fall in love with me?**

**GINNY: I think it already has!**

**HARRY: Awesome, 'cause it's for Cho Chang! [Returns to guitar]**

Cho smiled when she heard this, glad the the younger girl wasn't making Harry fall for her.

"Thanks Harry," Cho cooed, smiling wide at him.

"Uh, your welcome?" Harry asked, unsure of himself. He honestly had no idea what happened.

_"If Cho thinks she can get her little paws on my man," _Ginny thought, but then stooped herself. _"He isn't mine. Harry can go out with whoever he choses."_

**GINNY: Oh yeah. She's beautiful.**

**HARRY: [Stops playing] What are you, nuts? Beautiful? More like super-mega-foxy-awesome-hot! **

"Well Harry," Hermione commented, "even if you know nothing about girls, you can compliment them well."

**HARRY: She's the hottest girl I've ever met. She's far more attractive, far more appealing, far more interesting that any girl that I know, in my immediate group of friends. [Returns to guitar]**

"Let me take that back," Hermione said, immediately turned off by Harry's behavior. "Harry, you do know nothing about girls."

"I did tell you that," Harry said after her.

**[Enter RON]**

**RON: [Climbing over Neville's bench, clapping him round head]. 'Sup Neville? **

"Ronald!" Hermione cried out and hit him in the head again. "Don't do that to Neville."

"I didn't!"Ron cried out while nursing his new injury.

**RON: Move, move, move [Indicating Ginny, who shoves up bench, pushing Hermione off end]. **

"And don't do that either!" Hermione scolded, hitting him again.

"Ouch," Ron cried again.

**RON: Awesome. Hey, Harry, what's up? So I was just offstage hanging out with Hagrid and I saw these delivery wizards bringing giant cages into the dungeons – I don't know what that's for!**

**HERMIONE: Giant cages! I bet whatever's in those cages has something to do with the first task! Harry, we have to find out what it is!**

"Wonderful, Granger," Draco commented. "Simply wonderful."

"Shut up, Malfoy," Ron defended Hermione. "She has more brains than you do." He then turned slightly pink realizing what he'd done.

**HARRY: Hey, guys – chill. I'm busy. [Rocks out on guitar]**

**[HERMIONE confiscates guitar]**

**RON & GINNY: NO, no, no!**

**HARRY: [At the same time] Hey, hey, hey.**

"Why are we," Ginny started, motioning to Ron and her, "making a bigger deal out of thing than Harry?"

"Don't as me," Harry said, putting his hands up. "I can't even play the guitar."

**HERMIONE: Guys! Now listen- this could be a matter of life and death.**

**RON: It doesn't matter because it's afterhours, okay? We can't leave Gryffindor house, we'll probably get in trouble if we do, and even if we don't, Shlongbottom over there will probably tell on us.**

**HERMIONE: Neville won't tell!**

**NEVILLE: Oh yes I certainly will!**

"I would never tell on you," Neville said quietly to himself.

"We know Neville," Hermione started but was interrupted by Ron.

"Well what about first year, huh?" he asked. "You tried to turn us in then."

This remark received another bump on the head and a "Ronald!" from Hermione.

**RON: What are we gonna do?**

**HERMIONE: It's simple, guys, the cloak!**

**HARRY, RON & GINNY: Of course, [stand dramatically] the cloak.**

"Why did you all stand up?" Fred and George asked suspiciously.

"No reason," Harry mused while his insides were turning. _"They can't find out about the cloak. I would never get away with anything again. And Snape will tell Voldemort about it."_

**GINNY: Wait, what cloak?**

**RON: Shut up! [claps her round head]**

**NEVILLE: Alright, guys, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.**

**HARRY: When we were little boys at Hogwarts, I got a present left – oh, bye, Neville**

**[Exit NEVILLE]**

**HARRY: I got a present left to me in my first year at Hogwarts, and it was left to me by my Dad [opens trunk], the Dad that's dead, my father's dead, I have a dead father. **

"Way to be dramatic, Harry," Ginny said dryly.

**HARRY: [Takes out cloak] We used to solve mysteries and stuff with my invisibility cloak.**

"You have an invisibility cloak, Potter?" Snape and McGonagall asked together.

"Maybe," Harry said quietly.

"So that's why you get away with so much," Snape muttered to himself. "Just like your father."

"That's wicked, mate!" Fred and George exclaimed, shouting out in the air. "Why did you never tell us?"

"Cause it's a secret," Harry pointed out. "Well, it was a secret."

**GINNY: Oooh, wow, oh boy, wowee, Harry Potter! HA! A real invisibility cloak! Ooh, do you know what I would do if I had an invisibility cloak.**

**HARRY: Oh man, I would kick weiner dogs!**

"I would never do that, Hermione," Harry said quickly, "so don't bother hitting me on the head."

"Alright Harry, but only for you," Hermione said sweetly while Cho glared at her.

"Why him and not me?" Ron asked, crying out.

**RON: And I would pretend to be a ghost and I would scare people.**

"How original, little brother," George commented.

**HERMIONE: I would use it to avoid having to face my reflection in the mirror.**

Hermione blushed as her character said that. "You know that's not true, boys," she said to Ron and Harry, not completely looking at them.

"Hermione you," Harry started, but was cut off.

"Just lay off," Hermione said forcefully.

**HARRY: That's a bummer.**

**RON: Jesus!**

**GINNY: Well, actually, I was gonna say that I would use it to fake my own death and watch people cry at the funeral!**

"That's actually a really brilliant thing to do," Ginny commented about her line. "I could actually see doing that."

**HARRY: Okay, anyway let's get outta here before Neville gets outta the bathroom.**

**[Harry, Ron & Hermione make to leave, Ginny follows. Ron stops her]**

**RON: Woah, woah, where do you think you're going?**

**GINNY: Um, with you guys?**

**RON: No, no way, no kid sisters allowed, okay? [claps her face] **

"That's not very nice," Ginny said sadly, but not surprised. She knew that Ron a would never let her come along with him, Harry, and Hermione on an adventure.

**RON: Eugh! Besides there's only enough under this cloak for two people [HERMIONE looks down, saddened] so uh, come on Hermione, come on!**

**HERMIONE: [Whisper] Yes.**

"Nice tact, Ron" Ginny commented.

**[Exit HARRY, RON and HERMIONE, Hermione passes Harry's guitar to Ginny as she leaves]**

**GINNY: [Sing] The way his hair falls in his eyes**  
**makes me wonder if he'll**  
**ever see through my disguise**  
**and I'm under his spell [taps head with wand]**

"Who am I talking, er, singing about?" Ginny wondered to the group.

**GINNY: **** [Sing] **Everything is falling and I don't know where to land  
**Everyone knows who he is but they don't know who I am**

**[Dances with guitar as partner]**

**GINNY: **** [Sing] **Harry, 

"Oh Merlin," Ginny said putting her hand over her lips. "I look so stupid," she cried out to herself, blushing so that her cheeks were crimson.

Along with her, Harry was looking just as awkward.

**GINNY: **** [Sing] **Harry,  
**Why can't you see**  
**what you're doing to me?**

"And what am I doing with that guitar?" Ginny asked herself quietly, still mortified at what her character was doing.

**GINNY: **** [Sing] **I've seen you conquer certain death  
**and even when you're just standing there you take away my breath**  
**and maybe someday you'll hear my song**  
**and understand **

"What am I doing with my face?" Ginny asked to no one in particular.

**GINNY: that all along**  
**there's something more that I'm trying to say**  
**when I say -**

**Harry, Harry, Harry**  
**Why can't you see**  
**what you're doing to me? [hugs guitar]**

**what you're doing to me?**

* * *

**~So, I ended it quickly, but don't worry. We will be getting to their final reactions on the first part in the next chapter. Speaking of the next chapter, it may be a while before it comes out. After school starting and everything, I find myself way too busy to keep writing the three stories I have going right now. So, sadly, this story is going to have to take a backseat. But don't worry, I will finish it. I may just have to update once every two weeks. ****And thank you to everyone who had reviewed this story. I'm glad you are enjoying it. Peace Out!~**


	10. Chapter 10

**DISCLAIMER: NEITHER STARKID OR HARRY POTTER BELONGS TO ME. IF THEY DID, I WOULD SCREAM IT AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS TO THE WORLD.**

* * *

_Previously: _

_GINNY: that all along_  
_there's something more that I'm trying to say_  
_when I say -_

_Harry, Harry, Harry_  
_Why can't you see_  
_what you're doing to me? [hugs guitar]_

_what you're doing to me?_

* * *

"That was the most pathetic ending ever. I don't have a crush on Harry," Ginny spewed out, trying to get her point across. "No Ron," she stopped whatever Ron was going to say after that, "I had a crush on him when I was younger, but I'm over that now."

All during this, Harry just said there, trying to sink into his seat.

"Let's begin to next clip, shall we," Dumbledore sad, putting an end to all the other conversation.

"But I thought we were going to get food, Headmaster," Ron protested.

"Right, well, we'll get it after this part."

**[Enter QUIRRELL and VOLDEMORT]**

**QUIRRELL: Master, master, the shipments for the first task of the tournament have just arrived!**

"Great, so now Quirrell and Voldemort know what the task is going to be and I don't," Harry angrily commented.

"Harry, we are on our way down there but was interrupted by Ginny's song about you," Hermione smartly said.

"Oh, right," Harry said while his and Ginny's ears turned red.

**VOLDEMORT: Yes, I know Quirrell, I hear everything you hear.**

**QUIRRELL****: Isn't it wonderful, master? We've made sure Harry Potter's name was drawn from the cup and soon he shall be ours!**

**VOLDEMORT: Yesss. It's really happening, isn't it Quirrell? You know, with the plan going so well, I feel like maybe we should celebrate. What do you say, Quirrell, hows about we go out. I hear it's karaoke night down at the Hog's Head!**

"What!" all the students shouted out in disbelief.

Harry went on. "The Voldemort I know would never do that."

"But that's the thing, Harry," Ginny explained to the confused boy who lived. "This isn't your Voldemort. Heck, he isn't even a real wizard."

"But," Harry protested, only to be cut off by the Twins shushing him.

**QUIRRELL: I dunno; I have all these papers to grade, and I've been giving so much attention to this revenge plan that I'm really behind...**

**VOLDEMORT: Ahhh, come on, Quirrell! You've been working so hard all year, you deserve a night off!**

**QUIRRELL: But the papers...**

**VOLDEMORT: Oh, just give them all B minuses and be done with it!**

**QUIRRELL: Now that's evil!**

"I sure hope that didn't happen, Headmaster." Hermione turned to face the Professor. "Because I deserve on honest grade on my homework. I'm sure my work deserved better than a B minus."

"Rest assured, Ms. Granger, that would never happen," the Headmaster said with a twinkle in his eye. The same kind of twinkle he always gets when someone pleased him.

"What's a B minus?" Neville asked to the muggleborn.

"It's a type of grading system the muggles use," Harry said, beating his friend to it. Turning slightly to her, he said, "Sorry, Hermione, but I went to muggle school too, you know."

"Yes, well," Hermione huffed, but remained silent.

**VOLDEMORT: Yeah, yeah thanks, I am the dark lord. **

"Because giving children B minus really count as doing something evil," one of the Twins commented.

"I'm really scared," the other fake shuddered.

**VOLDEMORT: Come on, just a few drinks! Hey, we'll try to pick up some chicks!**

**QUIRRELL: I wouldn't know what to say, I'm no good at that!**

**VOLDEMORT: Come on, it'll be fun! You just move your lips and I'll do the talking. Quirrell! Mannnn! Listennnn! **

"I know that this is fake and all," Neville said while cutting back a laugh, "but his face right there... Could you image the real Voldemort doing that?"

After a few moments, everyone broke out into laughter, picturing in their heads what Neville had said.

**VOLDEMORT: I may just be a parasite on the back of your head who's literally devouring your soul every time you take a breath, but I can see that you're too good a guy not to have a bit of fun once in a while! You deserve this!**

"That had got to be the lamest pep-talk I have even seen," Harry commented.

"I agree with you there," Ginny added.

**QUIRRELL: Well if you put it that way, then, yeah, let's just go wild tonight!**

"But.. what... uhhh..."Harry started but then stopped. "Never mind. I can't follow the mind of that idiot."

**VOLDEMORT: [stick tongue out of mouth] That's the spirit Quirrell! **

All the Hogwarts students burst into laughter at the sight of this. Even Professor McGonagall and Snape had a slight grin on their face.

**VOLDEMORT: Put on a fresh pair of wizard shorts and grab your tunic. Quirrell, we are gonna get you laid! **

"Good luck with that," Both Twins said, holding back their laughter.

**VOLDEMORT: Seriously man, back when I had a body, oh, I had mad game with the ladies. Just ask Bellatrix Lestrange!**

"That is something I didn't want to know," Harry said, covering his eyes with one hand and his ear with another. "I could have gone my whole life not hearing that."

"Grow up, Harry," was all that he got in response.

**[Exit QUIRRELL and VOLDEMORT]**

**[HARRY, RON & HERMIONE are under the cloak]**

**RON: This cloak isn't as big as it used to be!**

"No duh, Ron," the Twins said to their younger brother while flicking him in the ear.

"Hey, guys, cut it out."

**[Enter DRACO, CRABBE & GOYLE]**

**HERMIONE: Shh! Someone's coming!**

**DRACO: Did you just hear something?**

**GOYLE: No. Only quiet. Maybe … one … raindrop.**

"What is that about, Malfoy?" the golden trio asked.

"How should I know?Draco said in response. "I don't know what goes on in his head."

**DRACO: No matter. Tell me, Goyle, who do you think is the ugliest girl in school?**

"Well that was a change in conversation." Ginny shrugged her shoulders. "I wonder what they were talking about before?"

**GOYLE: Uh … oh, Buckbeak, for sure.**

**DRACO: Crabbe?**

**CRABBE: Uh, Winky the house elf.**

"What does he have against house elves?" Hermione asked, getting worked on on S.P.E.W.

Ron leaned into Harry. "Here we go again," he whispered. Then louder he said, "Hermione, let's keep the show going."

**DRACO: Good one. Obscure! You know who I think is the ugliest girl in school? That Hermione Granger. **

"Don't worry, Hermione. Your really pretty," Ginny immediately said while glaring at Draco.

"You really are," Harry chimed in. "Don't listen to what anyone else says."

Hermione raised her head up from where she had bowed it. After hearing those words, she felt better about herself. _"I am beautiful, no matter what other people say."_

"Some people just don't know what they're talking about," Ron said after getting over the shock.

"Thanks Ron," Hermione responded while a slight blush spread through her checks.

Ginny, following what her brother did earlier, leaned into Harry. "Notice," She whispered, "that of all of us that said something to her, she only has eyes for Ron."

**DRACO: You know what I'd give her on a scale of one to ten with one – one would be the ugliest, and ten, pretty – I would give her … an eight. [Pause] **

"What!" the whole room shrieked at this discovery. Draco, who was originally trying to ignore everyone as to not get yelled at, now turned bright red to offset his pale skin.

"That can not be true," the youngest Weasley laughed.

"Of course it isn't," Draco said, protesting.

**DRACO: Eight-point-five. **

"This isn't me!" Draco shouted in protest over everyone's laughter.

"That's not why we're laughing," Ginny snorted. "We're laughing because of how dumb it looks on the stage. We know this isn't really you."

"Make sure you remember that."

**DRACO: Or a nine. **

"I'm glad you think so highly of me, Malfoy," Hermione said with a grin. After getting over the shock, she figured she might as well enjoy herself and torment Malfoy.

**DRACO: Not over a nine point eight – because there is always room for improvement. Not everyone's perfect, like me, that's why I am holding out for a ten: because I'm worth it. **

"That's likely," Fred and George muttered.

"Very conceited," Ginny laughed along with everyone.

Draco turned crimson again.

**DRACO: Come on, let's go!**

**[Exit DRACO, CRABBE & GOYLE, narrowly missing others on way out]**

"That is highly inconceivable. Of course they would have run into us," Hermione muttered under her breath.

**HARRY: Wow, what a bunch of jerks.**

**HERMIONE: Forget them. Now, where did you say you saw those crates being delivered?**

**RON: I think they were being delivered to the auditorium so they should be at the end of this hallway and to the left. [walks in place while columns move backwards] **

"I have to say that is cool stage directions," Hermione commented.

**RON: Look! [Points at a crate with cardboard goat in it]**

**HERMIONE: A goat?**

**HARRY: A goat? Oh my God, I have to fight a goat? I don't know if I can do that morally!**

"Always real witty, Harry," one Twin said.

"I do try my best," Harry responded dryly.

**[ENTER DUMBLEDORE & SNAPE]**

**SNAPE: … and the goats have all been sent for feeding-time, headmaster.**

**DUMBLEDORE: Feeding time? Dragons don't want to be fed, they wanna hunt!**

**HARRY: Did he just say dragons?**

**SNAPE: Did you just say 'did he just say dragons'?**

"Wow, Potter. Way to stay a secret," Draco commented, trying to forget what his character had just done.

"Really, Harry," Hermione scolded. "That was a dumb move."

"Sorry," Harry pleaded. "Besides, this isn't even me."

When Hermione made a move to protest, Ron stopped her. "He has a point you know."

**DUMBLEDORE: I must have, because anybody else hiding in this room would have known to have _shut up_, Potter.**

"Even when you get caught, you get off," Draco sneered. "That's favoritism. Wait till me father hears about this."

"I would have to remind you, Mr. Malfoy, that what happens in my office, stays in my office," Dumbledore reminded the young fifth-year.

**SNAPE: Headmaster, do you really think it's wise to have children fight dragons?**

**DUMBLEDORE: No, Snape, I don't think it's wise to do anything anymore. Why, here I am, alive and well today, and I could very well be killed by you tomorrow.**

**SNAPE: Why, that's absurd!**

"Foreshadowing!" Neville cried out to his embarrassment.

"Professor Snape is not trying to kill me," Dumbledore said quietly after everyone had stopped talking.

**DUMBLEDORE: Severus, let's go to bed. Have you ever seen my room? I've got some pretty kickin' posters on my wall.**

"Ewwwwwww," all the students shuddered at the sight of their Headmaster and Snape.

**SNAPE: Well, I am rather tired. [Stretches arms with yawn, narrowly missing others]**

"While I doubt they'll be getting any sleep," Ron muttered.

"Gross, Ronald," Hermione said with a shudder.

**[Exit DUMBLEDORE and SNAPE]**

**HARRY: [Removing cloak] Oh, man. I have to fight a dragon? This is bogus! How can I fight a dragon? I'm just a little kid!**

"Sure you are, Harry," Ginny said wryly. "You were only a baby when you defeated You-Know-Who when you were a baby."

**RON: [Puts away cloak] Maybe it won't be that bad, Harry. Maybe you'll just have to fight, like, Mushu from Mulan!**

"What's that?"

"Never mind, Neville." Hermione waved him off. "It's not important to the story."

**HARRY: Oh, alright.**

**RON: I dunno, maybe like, Puff the magic dragon?**

**HERMIONE: Ron, this is serious, okay? Harry could die! Now look, there's still time, alright, we just need to figure out a plan.**

"Because we all know how well our plans work out," Ron said laughing a bit.

"Hey, it's not my fault," Hermione protested.

**HARRY: Okay, well we should probably do that back in the common room. Wait, where's the invisibility cloak?**

**RON: Oh, I put it over on that magical walking chair over th – oh crap …**

"And you said I was an idiot for talking when we were invisible," Harry laughed at Ron's misfortune.

**HARRY: Oh, that's – that's gonna be an issue…**

**RON: Yep …**

**[Exit HARRY, RON and HERMIONE]**

"Now can we get some food?" Ron asked brightly.

"Excellent idea, Mr. Weasley," Dumbledore said with a grin.

With that, everyone got up from their seats and walked towards the Great Hall.

* * *

**~Thank you for being so patient with this chapter. All your reviews have really made me glad to update this. So, thanks to everyone who's reviewed this. Also, in this chapter, I have made two references to other pieces of work. If you can name one or both of them, I'll give you cookies and a shout-out. So, look hard. I should update in the next two weeks. Peace Out!**


	11. Chapter 11

**DISCLAIMER: BOTH HARRY POTTER AND STARKID BELONG TO SOMEONE ELSE. IF I DID OWN THEM, I WOULD NOT BE WRITING ON THIS SITE.**

* * *

_Previously: _

_"Now can we get some food?" Ron asked brightly._

_"Excellent idea, Mr. Weasley," Dumbledore said with a grin._

_With that, everyone got up from their seats and walked towards the Great Hall._

* * *

On the way to the Great Hall, Ginny pulled Harry aside. "Woah, Ginny, where are we going?" Harry asked when his arm was yanked. But Ginny make a comment until the were in an empty classroom. "Ginny, what are you doing?" Harry asked again, looking around the classroom. It was a room that Harry didn't recognize, but it must not have been in use. The desks had a layer of dust that looked like it had been there since the castle was new. It looked as if no one had been there in centuries. Harry turned his attention back to Ginny.

"I just," she started, but then turned a shade a red that would put her brothers to shame. "Sorry, Harry, I just needed to talk to you alone."

"Oh, okay," Harry muttered, looking away. He could tell that Ginny was embarrasses. He thought that she had gotten over her crush on him, but that scene in the video looking like she hadn't. But, then again, it was made by muggles who knew nothing about them. Maybe Ginny was really over her crush an him. She was going out with another boy, after all.

"I just wanted to say that I don't have a crush on you," Ginny spewed out quickly. Harry whipped his head around so fast that he thought he might have gotten whiplash. The redhead noticed this and blushed even harder. "Yeah, I just thought that I should let you know. That video wasn't true at all."

Harry swallowed hard. He wasn't sure what his response to that should be. It wasn't like he should thank her or anything, but not saying something was wrong as well. "Um, okay then," he said at last, mumbling under his breath.

"I told you in case you got any strange ideas about me." Ginny stopped blushing and looked at him. In her eyes, she saw a strong, young man who had been thrust out into the world at a young age. _"Too young,"_ she thought to herself, trying to stop from staring at him. She had just told him that she didn't like him, and here she was, staring at him like he was Merlin. _"Stop it, Ginny. You don't have a crush on him. You're going out with Michael now."_

"So," Harry started, breaking Ginny out of her thoughts, "what is this place? I mean, it looks like a classroom, but I've never seen it before. How did you know it was here?"

"Fred and George showed it to me one day when I was in second year. They said that they found it when they had to hide from Flitch when they pulled a prank," Ginny summarized. "I think they showed to to me so I could go somewhere to be alone after the Chamber incident."

"That does sound like Fred and George."

"As for your question about it being a classroom, I put some desks in here so I can do my homework."

Harry was still puzzled, though. "Then why does it look like no one had been here in centuries?"

"I always put a dust charm on it in case someone decides to come in here. That way, it will look like I haven't been here," Ginny shrugged. They were quiet for a minute, both standing awkwardly in each other's presence. Neither of them wanted to be the one to break the silence. Finally, Ginny said something. "We should probably get back. The other's will be wondering where we are."

"Yeah, okay," Harry said, agreeing with Ginny. But, secretly, in the back of his mind, all he wanted to do was stay with Ginny in this abandoned classroom forever.

* * *

"Where were you?" was the first question that Hermione asked Ginny and Harry. They both glanced at each other.

_"Don't tell her," _Ginny pleaded with her eyes.

_"I won't," _Harry responded in the same manner. "Nowhere," Harry said out loud to everyone.

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "You were somewhere. Just because Ron hasn't noticed, doesn't mean I haven't." Ginny and Harry glanced at Ron, who was currently stuffing his face with shepherd's pie.

But Harry still shook his head. "It wasn't anywhere important, Hermione. Just drop it, okay?" Hermione looked like she wanted to say something, but didn't because of a look from Ginny. "Alright then," Harry started, addressing everyone, "what do you think of the video?"

"I, for one, think that these stupid muggles don't know anything that they're doing," Draco said. "They obviously don't know anything about me, or anyone for that matter. I think we should stop watching this show before it gets any worse."

"You just don't want to see them make a fool out of you anymore, Malfoy,"Ginny snickered.

"That's not true," Draco insisted.

"Sure it's not," Ginny smirked.

"I love it right now," Fred, or maybe George said.

"But it would be better if," the other Twin replied.

"We were in it!" both the Twins shouted at once.

"Okay then," Harry said after cleaning out his ears from the Twins loud shouts. "I guess we have your opinions. Anyone else like to share?"

"I personally think this is still a Death Eater's plot," Hermione commented. Everyone just stared at her. "What? It is getting our minds off the return of You-Know-Who. I don't think we should watch anymore of it."

"Thank you," Draco said. "Finally someone who understands."

"Malfoy, you do realized that you just agreed with Hermione?" Ron asked after he had finished eating his lunch.

"Well...I..." Draco spewed, trying to go back and change what he had said.

"Never mind that now, children," Dumbledore spoke as he walked into the Great Hall. He and the other teachers that were watching the show had been dining in another room off of the Great Hall. "Ms. Granger, though I do appreciate your worry, let me assure you that Voldemort is still ever present in my mind. I have not forgotten about him."

"Of course Professor," Hermione said, blushing slightly after being told off by one of the greatest wizards that had ever lived.

"But now," the Headmaster continued, turning to the room's other occupants, "it is time to head back to watch another part."

"Great," the Twins said together and walked away, arm in arm. The other students just muttered something under their breaths, but continued out the Great Hall. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled for a second when he saw Ginny's eyes linger on Harry's retreating figure before looking away. Then, the great Headmaster followed his students to his office.

* * *

**I'm really sorry about the lateness of this chapter. I totally forgot to post this when I went to give you guys the next chapter. I have been really busy with school. All of my teachers have decided that this would be a great time to give out essays that are all due on the same day. So, as much as I love you, Harry Potter, and Starkid, school gets first priority. But anyways, I hope you liked this chapter. I know there isn't much, but I should update next week to give you something more. But I would still like to thank everyone who has reviewed. You guys have really made my weeks go by faster.**

**Another this is the references I put in the last chapter. I didn't realize this at the time, but there are actually three references, not two. They were the lyrics to the song "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera. (I love that song!) Another references was to the Princess Bride. (I love that movie!) The last reference I didn't catch, but a bunch of you did. It was to the saying 'what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. So, kudos to haryfreakinpotterlovesme, FeatherCat206, and coolgems1630 because they found at least two of the references. You guys rock. **

******On a side note, I would like everyone to think of my friend this week. She has recently been informed that she had a rare form of cancer. Her family has also had a lot of problems with her younger sister who had to have heart surgery. Please keep this family in your thoughts this week. (Wow. That was a long author's note. Sorry:)) Peace Out!**


	12. Chapter 12

**DISCLAIMER: AS I HAVE SAID BEFORE, HARRY POTTER AND STARKID DO NOT BELONG TO ME. IF THEY DID... WELL LET'S JUST SAY THINGS WOULD HAVE TURNED OUT A LITTLE DIFFERENTLY.**

* * *

_Previously:_

_"But now," the Headmaster continued, turning to the room's other occupants, "it is time to head back to watch another part."_

_"Great," the Twins said together and walked away, arm in arm. The other students just muttered something under their breaths, but continued out the Great Hall. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled for a second when he saw Ginny's eyes linger on Harry's retreating figure before looking away. Then, the great Headmaster followed his students to his office._

* * *

Dumbledore swept into the room, causing everyone to sit down in their old seats. Walking to the front of the room, the wise Headmaster was just about to push at play button when he realized that someone was missing. "And where, may I ask, is your brother, Mr. Weasley?"

Whichever twin who was in the room decided to play dumb. "I don't know what you're talking about, Dumbledore," the redhead commented, sticking his nose into the air, looking very much like his younger brother Percy. "My brother is right here." To prove that he was correct, he got up and hugged Ron.

Ron just sat there, looking strangely at his older brother. Dumbledore cut in. "Silly of me, Mr. Weasley, to ask where Ron was when I can clearly see him. No, I am asking about your twin."

"Well he is right here too!" exclaimed one of the twins, pointing back to his seat. Everyone gasped when they saw where he was pointing. Indeed, in the seat, was the other twin.

"I've been here the whole time, Professor," the twin said lazily as his brother at down next to him. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Professor McGonagall's eyes squinted. She was about to start demanding answers when Dumbledore said something. "Oh how foolish of me. Well, now that we are all here and accounted for, let's begin."

As Dumbledore pressed play, Ron leaned closer to Harry. "I'd bet you anything that they were up to something."

"Obviously," Harry whispered back as the screen before them went dark. "I just hope that it's not me who is at the end of their prank."

**[Enter QUIRRELL & VOLDEMORT]**

**QUIRRELL: I thought walking home drunk was hard before!**

"They look ridiculous," Neville snorted at the screen. It's true that they did. With 'Voldemort' leaning on 'Quirrell,' it was quite a sight to behold.

"Professors shouldn't get drunk," Hermione muttered out in between everyone's laughter.

"Relax, 'Mione," Ron said. "It's just a bit of fun."

**VOLDEMORT: We should've realized that with both of us drinking ****into one belly, we'd get twice as drunk! **

"Is it just me or does it seem like Quirrell isn't drunk?" Neville asked.

**VOLDEMORT: Hey, Quirrell!**

"Merlin," exclaimed Hermione, "he is really annoying."

**QUIRRELL: Yeah?**

**VOLDEMORT: Quirrell, Quirrell! You remember that girl you were ****talking to?**

**QUIRRELL: Yeah.**

**VOLDEMORT: You remember that girl I was talking to? Well, I was ****talking to her sister on my side!**

"That's a little creepy," Cho said, her voice getting higher. "Who would want to talk to Voldemort? He's a murderer."

"That's the point," Ginny said, huffing at the chinese girl. "It's called a parody. This wouldn't happen in real life. It's supposed to be funny."

Cho blushed. "Whatever."

**QUIRRELL: Oh, so that's why she freaked out when we stood up!**

**VOLDEMORT: Because they didn't know that we were one person! ****Hahaha!**

**QUIRRELL: [at same time] … the same person. Hahaha!**

"Neville, I have to agree with you," Harry commented. Everyone looked at him weirdly. "That Quirrell doesn't seem drunk at all," he clarified. "Voldemort seems to be 100 times more drunk."

"Thank you Harry," Neville said forcefully, making her point.

**QUIRRELL: You ****know, I haven't had this much fun since Nearly-Headless Nick's ****deathday party of ninety-one!**

Harry, Hermione, and Ron shuttered. "Deathday parties are not fun," Ron exclaimed. "There isn't any good food, and all the guests are ghosts."

The twins looked at their brother. "When did you go to a deathday party?" one asked.

"Back in second year," Ron responded.

"But we have tried to-"

"Get into one since-"

"Day one," they both finished.

"Trust me," Harry said, "you don't want to go to one."

**VOLDEMORT: I haven't had this much fun since – uh – yeah, well shit****, I can't remember ever having this much fun!**

**QUIRRELL: You never have fun … ever? Doing anything? Maybe ****that's why you're so evil.**

**VOLDEMORT: Yeah, _maybe_. **

"If anyone in real life said that to Voldemort, they wouldn't live much longer," Harry said.

"Yeah, this doesn't seem like him a lot," Ginny mustered.

**VOLDEMORT: It's definitely to do with the fact that ****muggles and mudbloods make me sick to my stomach,**

"And there's the Voldemort we all know and love," Harry exclaimed.

"Wow, Harry," the twins said. "That was actually funny."

"It's been known to happen," he replied.

**VOLDEMORT: but, ah … ****yeah, I guess you could be right. I guess. I mean, ha, that's kinda ****funny…**

**QUIRRELL: What is it, Voldemort?**

**VOLDEMORT: Oh, it's just that I never really ever ever really really ****ever really considered another reason for me being so evil, you ****know?**

"Just get the words out," Hermione said impatiently.

**VOLDEMORT: 'Cause normally, you know, I just – uh – I just kill people that ****try to get me to open up, you know? … Oops! **

The whole room burst into laughter at this joke. Even Snape cracked a grin.

**VOLDEMORT: But it's kinda nice to ****just, um to just talk.**

**QUIRRELL: Yeah, you know, I have to admit, I was kinda nervous ****when you first demanded that you attach yourself to my soul.**

**VOLDEMORT: Yeah, I could sense that.**

"Well who wouldn't be nervous?" Harry commented.

**QUIRRELL: But, like, now I think it's kinda cool. **

"Yep, really cool having the darkest wizard to ever walk this planet suck your soul out," Harry said wryly.

**QUIRREL: It's like having a ****really close roommate, or even –**

**VOLDEMORT: -yeah, like a slave! Like a Death Eater!**

"Of course Voldemort of think of Quirrell like that," Hermione exclaimed.

**QUIRRELL: No, man. It's like having a friend.**

"What the hell is he doing now?" Draco said as Quirrell began to pet Voldemort with his head. "And what is with this sappy music."

"Quirt, Malfoy," Ginny cried out as she made a puppy-dog face. "This is really cute once you get pasted all the evilness."

"Real cute," Draco smirked. "I would have never taken you for that type."

Ginny frowned. "I was being sarcastic."

**VOLDEMORT: I've never had a friend before …**

**QUIRRELL: Well it looks like you got one now!**

"Who would want to be friends with that, that, murderer?" Cho exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air.

"Again, Cho," Ginny said as if she was talking to a five year old, "this is a parody. It's supposed to be funny."

**VOLDEMORT: Who would have thought at the beginning of this ****year that we'd feel like that for each other! I guess everything is ****different between us now.**

"And here comes a song," Ron exaggeratedly said.

**QUIRRELL: (Sing) I guess it's plain to see**

**When you look at you and me**

**we're different, different**

**as can be**

"This song was already sung," Draco said with an air of importance in his voice.

"It's called a reprise," Hermione responded. "And I think it's brilliant. At the beginning, it was about how that were different from each other. But now it's about how they have changed from the beginning. The people who wrote this are very talented."

**VOLDEMORT & QUIRRELL: ****(Sing) **We simply guarantee

**When you're looking at you and me**

**we're different, different**

**as can be**

**QUIRRELL: ****(Sing) **It's a comedy of sorts

**when you're bound to Voldemort!**

"So funny," Ginny said dryly.

**VOLDEMORT: ****(Sing) **And I'm happy as a squirrel

**Long as I'm with Mr. Quirrelll!**

"Happy as a squirrel?" Draco commented. "Well, Granger, these writers are very talented," he said sarcastically.

"The word had to rhyme with Quirrell, so excuse me." Hermione sputtered.

**VOLDEMORT & QUIRRELL: ****(Sing) **We'll lead 'em to the slaughter

**and we'll murder Harry Potter**

"That's just great," Harry said. "I'd like to see them try."

******VOLDEMORT & QUIRRELL: ****(Sing) **We're different,

**Different, different, different**

**As can be!**

**[Exit VOLDEMORT & QUIRRELL]**

"I would just like to point out that Voldemort didn't seem to be drunk at the end," Neville said.

"Okay, Neville," Hermione replied. "So that was the end. Should I click on the next one?"

"Go right ahead, Ms. Granger," Dumbledore said.

* * *

**~ Short chapter, I know. But hey, at least I'm back updating. I would just like a apologize for not updating this. Let's just say that in the past couple of months fanfiction has been at the bottom of my to do list. Updates will be less frequent as they were before, but I will be updating. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this. And keep reviewing telling me about your favorite parts.**


	13. Chapter 13

**DISCLAIMER: NO PART OF HARRY POTTER OR STARKID BELONGS TO ME. I AM SIMPLY WRITING THIS FOR FUN.**

* * *

_Previously:_

_"I would just like to point out that Voldemort didn't seem to be drunk at the end," Neville said._

_"Okay, Neville," Hermione replied. "So that was the end. Should I click on the next one?"_

_"Go right ahead, Ms. Granger," Dumbledore said._

* * *

**[set in Champions' tent]**

**[ENTER SNAPE]**

**SNAPE: The Hogwarts champions shall now enter the champions'**

**tent in preparation for the first task.**

**[Exit SNAPE, enter HARRY holding lunch bag]**

**HARRY: Man, I can't believe we've got to skip lunch period for this ****stupid task!**

"Really Harry?" Ginny asked, amazed that any Harry Potter look-a-like would ever say such a thing. After al, he could die from this task.

"You could die, and all you care about is how you are missing lunch?" Hermione scolded him.

Harry put his hands up. "That's not me. Remember when I actually did this? I was scared to pieces. I wasn't worrying about lunch."

**[Enter HERMIONE]**

**HERMIONE: Okay Harry, today's the day, the day you fight the ****dragon. Now, did you read those notes that I wrote for you on ****dragons?**

**HARRY: No.**

**HERMIONE: What? Why not?**

**HARRY: Are you kidding? That's so boring!**

"You are so conceited in this play, mate," Ron announced.

"You just figured that out?" Fred said dryly.

**HERMIONE: W- so you didn't read them, you didn't prepare at all, ****you're not prepared at all?**

**HARRY: Well, no, at least I have my wand. [Checks pockets] Um, ****where's my-**

"YOU LOST YOUR WAND?" everyone in the room exploded.

"Harry, you need that wand to defeat You-Know-Who!" Hermione reiterated. "How could you be so carless?"

"I have my wand," Harry started, pulling it out of his back pocket.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "I know you have your wand. I was talking to you in the play."

There was a pause, then "Never put your wand in you back pocket, Harry," Fred said.

"Greater wizards than you have been know to lose a buttock," George finished.

**HERMIONE: Here [hands HARRY his wand]**

**HARRY: Hey! Cool! You're the best.**

"Of course she has your wand," Ron chuckled.

**HERMIONE: Harry, just – please don't die today! I don't want to see ****my best friend get eaten by a dragon! [Hugs HARRY]**

**HARRY: Wh- hey, just relax, okay? Save the tears for my funeral.**

"Mr. Potter," Professor McGonagall said. "You are not being very melancholy for a person who might die at the moment."

"Um... okay?" Harry responded, not really sure what she meant.

"She means that you don't look worried that you might actually die," Hermione explained.

"Oh, well, that's not really me," Harry defended himself.

"Well duh," said Draco under his breath.

**HERMIONE: Yeah.**

**[Enter DRACO & CEDRIC]**

**CEDRIC: So, tell me more about this 'Pigfarts', I find it to be very ****interesting!**

**DRACO: Well, while you're there you have to wear your spacesuit at ****all times because there's no atmosphere on Mars. So, if a single ****docking bay door opens, you'll probably die.**

**CEDRIC: My, how dreadful!**

"Oh Cedric," Cho muttered softly under her breath. "You were always so upbeat."

Over Cho's comment, Ron said "That's not very Cedric like. He was never that upbeat."

**DRACO: Well, but the good news is, if you're a good enough ****student, Rumbleroar lets you ride around on his back!**

**CEDRIC: And he's the headmaster lion?**

**DRACO: - who can talk!**

"Great, Draco. We really needed to know that," Ron commented.

**CEDRIC: Oh. Well, hello Harry, how are we feeling today?**

**HARRY: Hey, Cedric. I'm trying to stay positive.**

**CEDRIC: Well good! I'm happy to find you in good spirits! Miss ****Granger?**

**HERMIONE: Hello.**

"Nice cold shoulder," cho said, looking pissed off that anyone would ever disrespect her boyfriend.

"Well, hey," exclaimed Harry. "He was dating the girl I had a cru..." He stopped, looking unsure of how to go on. Meanwhile, Cho was looking very pleased with herself while Ginny's faced looked like a tomato had thrown up on it.

**[Enter CHO]**

**CHO: Sugar-pie!**

**CEDRIC: My Darling! [she kisses him on both cheeks]. Was that a ****kiss for good luck?**

**CHO: No, that was for being so cotton-picking cute! This one's for ****good luck! [Kisses him on lips]**

**HARRY: I hate that guy.**

Cho giggled while Ginny shot dagger eyes at her. The rest of the students in the room were wise enough to stay out of it.

**HERMIONE: It's okay Harry, you're gonna be great!**

**[Enter DUMBLEDORE]**

**DUMBLEDORE: Ah! Oh, God! Granger, I thought you were a ****bogart! **

"Im not that ugly," Hermione frowned.

"Pardon me, Ms. Granger. I do believe that was just supposed tobe a joke," Dumbledore apologized.

**DUMBLEDORE: And what the hell are you doing in the champions' tent? Get ****outta here! Ten more points!**

**HARRY: Thanks Hermione.**

"It's nice to know that my friends will stick up for me," Hermione said, hiding a smile.

"You know we aren't really like that," Harry exclaimed, not knowing that she was joking.

**DUMBLEDORE: Are you kids ready to fight a dragon? Of course ****not, you're just children, what the hell am I thinking? **

"It's nice to know that, Professor," the twins said together.

**DUMBLEDORE: Well, outside ****this tent are thousands-upon-thousands of screaming fans and they're ****either going to be cheering for you, or the dragon but either way ****they're going to be making some kinda noise! So, in order for the ****selection-process to be fair, I am going to randomly select a ****cardboard cut-out version of the dragon you will be fighting. For you ****Cedric: Puff the magic dragon! [hands card to Cedric]. **

"What?" cried Harry. "That wasn't a dragon in real life."

"Hush, Harry" Ginny said.

**DUMBLEDORE: Figment, the ****imaginary dragon [hands card to Cho]. The reluctant dragon [hands ****card to Draco]. **

"What me get a real dragon." Harry commented. "It would be just my luck."

**DUMBLEDORE: And for you Potter … THE HUNGARIAN ****HORNTAIL, THE MOST TERRIFYING THING YOU'LL EVER ****SEE IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE! [hands card to Harry]**

**HARRY: Aaah!**

"See," Harry pointed out smugly.

**DUMBLEDORE: [Moving away] Anyway, if there are no more ****complaints, I think I will-**

**HARRY: Hold on a second – wait a second – this is terrifying! Those ****are the cutest things I've ever seen!**

**DUMBLEDORE: [taking CHO's card] This thing is horrifying! Just ****use your imagination. Disapparate!**

The twins bursted into laughter.

"It's an imaginary dragon," one said, still laughing his guts out.

"And he said to just," the other one said.

"Use your imagination," they both said, causing a new fit of laughter for both of them.

**[Exit DUMBLEDORE, enter RON]**

**RON: God, this competition's gonna suck, all these dragons are ****wimps! Accio double stuff! [Eats Oreo] Ugh, look at that one. [sees ****HARRY's card] OH MY GOD MONSTER! Oh, is that yours?**

**HARRY: Yeah.**

**RON: Oh my God, awesome, lemme hold it. [Takes card] Oh my ****God, this thing is terrifying, I hope the real thing is smaller! **

"Somehow I doubt it will be," Hermione rolled her eyes.

**RON: Ragh! ****Ferocious. What're you gonna do?**

**HARRY: I don't know, I'm not cut out for this kinda stuff! [Takes ****back card]**

"You're Harry Potter," Ron exclaimed. "Of course you are cut out for this stuff. I you weren't I don't know who would be."

**[Enter HERMIONE]**

**HERMIONE: Ron, you can't be in here, this is the champions' tent!**

**[Enter SNAPE]**

**SNAPE: Ms. Granger! What the devil are you doing in the ****champions' tent? Ten points from Griffindor!**

**HARRY & RON: Thanks Hermione.**

**RON: Hey, good luck buddy. [Waves at Snape] Bye, Snape!**

**SNAPE: Bye.**

"There is no way Snape would do that," Ron exclaimed, shocked at his Professors attitude.

**[Exit RON & HERMIONE]**

**SNAPE: Cedric Diggory, now is your chance to face your dragon.**

**[Exit SNAPE]**

**CEDRIC: Alright, fellas, wish me luck!**

**CHO: I believe in you.**

**CEDRIC: That's all I needed to hear.**

**[Exit CEDRIC]**

**HARRY: Hey, Malfoy, tell you what, I'll let you switch dragons with ****me. I'll give you the chance to switch dragons with me. I'll give you ****that opportunity. I'll tell you what, don't worry about it.**

**DRACO: Hmmm, let me think abo- no.**

"Do you really think I would be that dumb?," Draco commented.

**HARRY: Come on. [Looks in lunch bag] I'll give you my Gushers!**

**DRACO: [Checks own lunch bag] Oh, no, no, I have a Fruit-by-the-****Foot, I don't want the Gushers.**

"What are those?" both Harry and Draco asked. everyone looked at Hermione.

"THey are probably some snack," Hermione ventured, not really knowing what they were.

**[Enter SNAPE]**

**SNAPE: Cho Chang! Your dragon awaits!**

**CHO: Well, I can't imagine that this will be very hard!**

**SNAPE: Then I imagine it won't be!**

**[Exit SNAPE & CHO, laughing]**

Again, the twins laughed at the imaginary joke.

**HARRY: Malfoy, come on! I'll tell you what, I'll throw in my teddy ****grahams with the Gushers. You can make little Gusher-teddy graham ****sandwiches!**

**DRACO: Hmm [checks HARRY's lunch bag]. Alright, you throw in ****that pack of Bugles and you've got yourself a deal!**

"Great, now Harry doesn't have to fight that terrifying dragon," Ron exclaimed.

"I can't believe I would ever be that stupid," Draco said, putting his face in his hands.

**HARRY: Absolutely not, no way.**

"HARRY!" Ginny and Hermione screeched.

"Why would you do that? If you die, it won't matter if you have your Bugles or not," Ginny continued.

"How could you be that stupid?" Hermione went on.

"I can," Draco muttered under his breath.

**[Enter SNAPE]**

**SNAPE: Draco Malfoy!**

**[Exit DRACO]**

**HARRY: Professor Snape? Is there any way that I could – I dunno –****forfeit or switch dragons or maybe just take a day off or **

"Like Snape would let you do that," Ron muttered quietly to Harry.

**HARRY: [Snape ****pours ketchup on HARRY] – wwhat are you doing? What is that?**

**SNAPE: I'm protecting you, Potter. Welsh Greenbacks can't stand the ****taste of Heinz tomato Ketchup!**

"You're helping him, Professor?" Hermione looked at Snape in amazement. Everyone else in the room, except for Dumbledore, were staring at Snape as well.

"I..." Snape began to say.

"But I'm not fighting a Welsh Greenback," Harry shouted out.

**HARRY: But I'm not fighting a Welsh Greenback, I'm fighting a ****Hungarian Horntail.**

**SNAPE: Oh, well silly me – hehe – Heinz tomato Ketchup is what ****Hungarian Horntails like best of all. [Takes card] Haha, good luck ****Potter.**

"I knew he couldn't be helping you," Ron murmured while everyone nodded in agreement.

**[Exit SNAPE]**

**[Lights up to reveal benches in the corner with STUDENTS and ****DUMBLEDORE]**

**DUMBLEDORE: And now Harry Potter will battle a terrifying ****Hungarian Horntail, the most terrifying thing you've ever seen in ****your whole life! It should be noted that this particular dragon has not ****been fed in two weeks!**

"Who the hell forgets to feed a dragon for two weeks?" Harry asked to no one in particular.

"I think it was on purpose," Hermione said, gently nudging Harry.

"Oh, right," he replied sheepishly.

**HOGWARTS STUDENTS: Come on, Harry! Woo! You can do this! ****Just think positive!**

**[Enter DRAGON]**

"Hey look," Cho squealed. "I'm part of the dragon!"

**HARRY: [Almost gets eaten] Aaah! Accio guitar!**

"Oh great," Draco said, throwing his hands in the air. "Another song by the magnificent Harry Potter."

"Technically, I haven't had any solo songs before this one," Harry retorted.

"You know what I meant," Draco said, his cheeks turning slightly red.

**HARRY: [SING] Hey dragon**

**you don't gotta do this**

**Lets re-evaluate our options**

**throw away our old presumptions**

**cause really**

**you don't wanna go through this**

"So you're singing a song to a dragon trying to convince it not to eat you," Ron mustered up. "Somehow I don't see that working in the real world."

******HARRY: [SING] **I'm really not that special

**the Boy Who Lived is only flesh and bone**

Ginny let out a laugh. "Not special my..." She stopped, remembering that her Professors were in the room with her.

******HARRY: [SING] **the truth is in the end

**I'm pretty useless without friends**

**In fact I'm alone**

**Just like now**

"Well of course you are alone right now," Ron commented. "You're fighting a dragon."

******HARRY: [SING] **but anyhow

**I spend my time at school**

**trying to be this cool guy**

**I never even asked for**

**I don't know any spells**

"So you admit it, Potter," Draco sneered.

"Hey, I do know spell. How else would I have survived this long?" Harry shot back.

******HARRY: [SING] **Still manage to do well

**But there's only so long that can last for**

**I'm living off the glory**

**of some stupid children's story**

**That I had nothing to do with**

"You had nothing to do with it,"George said sarcastically.

"Yep, those stories called Harry Potter," Fred continued.

"Aren't about you at all," they said together.

******HARRY: [SING] **I just sat there and got lucky

"I wish I were that lucky when it came to Mum's rage," Ron muttered under his breath.

******HARRY: [SING] **so level with me buddy

**I can't defeat thee**

**so please don't eat me**

**All I can do**

**is sing this song for you**

"Really, Harry?" Hermione looked a her friend in disbelief. "Really? That's the best you can do?"

******HARRY: [SING] **Lalalalala

**DRAGON: [SING] Rarararara**

**HARRY: ****[SING]** Lalalalala

**HARRY: ****[SING]**That's right Dragon

**HARRY: ****[SING]**You never asked to be a dragon

Everyone in the room had a confused face on. "What?" Ron finally asked.

**HARRY: ****[SING] **I never asked to be a champion

"Oh, I get it," Ron said.

**HARRY: ****[SING] **We both just jumped on the band wagon

**But all we need is guitar jamming!**

"Guitar jamming isn't going to save the world, Harry," Hermione told him.

"I can't even play guitar," Harry defended. "So I don't know how I would save the world with it.

**HARRY: ****[SING] **Lalalalala

**DRAGON: ****[SING]**[Sleepily] Rarararara

**HARRY: Goodnight Dragon [DRAGON falls asleep]**

**[Harry puts down guitar, goes to dragon and pins it down]**

**HARRY: [Thumping fist wrestling-style] ONE-TWO-THREE, I**

**BEAT THE DRAGON!**

**[Hogwarts students cheer]**

**[Exit ALL]**

"I must admit, that was a pretty awesome way to beat a dragon," Hermione commented.

"So you didn't like what I did in really life?" Harry asked her.

"I did, but this way wouldn't cause you as many injuries."

* * *

~Here's the next chapter. I should be updating more regularly now that school is almost over. I hope you all like this and review. Thanks to everyone who is still reading this even though I haven't updated in a while. And thank yous to everyone who have reviewed, followed, or favorited this story. I means a lot to me. Peace Out!~


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